secondly: sleeping sex
about 5 seconds after my head hit the pillow last night, i was asleep. and not like, a little asleep, SOUND asleep! dead to the world- out like a light- etc etc.
so this would explain my brain's confusion about 5 minutes later when i realized that the husband was humping my ass.
wtf dude?! based on the fact that i fell asleep on the couch @ 8:45pm (which, sadly, resulted in me missing American Idol) and then sleepwalked my way to bed- it was more than obvious that i wasn't in the right frame of mind for maritals..............or was i?
a minute or so after i was
but last night- it was almost like being drunk (but without the horrible spins that accompany it)!
fabulous! i do have a (probably) impressionable daughter in the next room over so i didn't howl at the moon or anything- but i got mine. and he got his.
the only hitch was having to prop myself up with one hand & one elbow because i forgot the lube rag- but apparently the hunchback look totally does it for the hubs- who knew?
after all was said & done and our breathing had returned to normal- i killed whatever lusty thoughts that may have been lingering by grasping the forearm attached to my drippy lube hand & proclaiming it "THE CLAAAAW" in my best jim carey voice. it was a sweet ending to the night's activities. dinner AND a show. it was a win win.
so- if your husband wakes you up from a dead sleep & you'd rather KILL him than engage in maritals: STOP! give yourself a minute & go with it. you'll probably end up blowing his mind (among other things) and i guarantee you that he'll want to repay you the next day.
and not just by slapping your ass & winking at you over coffee the next morning- no, like he'll probably take you to the mall & let you pick out a kick ass Coach bag. score.
thirdly: presh pictures of my little lady who i pray becomes a nun & therefore never engages in the debauchery that i just wrote out:
we took her to Cracker Barrel in this outfit & a sweet little old lady proclaimed that that she was: "the most handsome little cowboy she'd ever seen!"
apparently cowboys wear pink & are named Alexis. good to know.
and here's alex rocking her Maleficent hat: (and mom rocking her super skinny's- tee hee)
lol @ "you might also like" apple crisp? monkey bread & chicken?! wtf?!