a few things i'm excited about

#1. Breaking Dawn



it's no secret that i'm a Twi-hard.
bad writing & lameness aside- these books sucked me in from the get go. i read all 4 in 3 days. i barely slept & i got irrationaly angry & sad at all the right moments. when i closed the final book i cursed Stephanie Meyers for what she had done to me.

vampires? real & hot? able to sparkle, run faster than light & resist their desires for human blood?

no way. but...maybe? omg. ::squee::

i proudly proclaim myself Team Jacob & have no qualms over standing in line at the theater, dressed in sensible jeans, a fleece jacket & Dansko clogs; all the while surrounded by 100+ 12 year old girls in copious amounts of eyeliner & skintight black clothing.

while they giggle about how hot & smoldering Edward is i'm thinking "bish please. you wouldn't know what to do with him if he came with a manual."

...not that i would either (or want to, because hello, i'm married. duh) because let's be honest- vampires are cold & bloodless right? so how do...certain "things" actually even happen? i mean, i took sex ed & i know a little bit about the human body & things aren't adding up.
i am well aware that a bed or 2 is broken, feathers go flying, bella blushes & a horribly named little vampire/human girl is conceived - but if we want to get technical...NO! nevermind- let's just let certain things remain a mystery.

these books had me embracing my inner teen & all 3 movies have allowed me 2 hours each of uninterrupted made up shit bliss.
so i cannot wait for 11.18.11 (well, let's be realistic & make that 11.26, maybe later. because i'm too old & tired to go to opening night & then it's Thanksgiving week & i have to be a mature adult & roast a turkey while rolling out dough for a pumpkin pie. so yeah, let's just say sometime in late November- yay!)

#2: The Hunger Games



this is another semi-teen series that had me holding my breath, choosing sides & wiping away tears. though not nearly as lame as overly attractive vampires with hearts of gold- i still have to admit that these are way below an adult reading level...and i love them.

i polished off the series in 2 days (because i have a job & kids & blah blah blah) & crowed with delight when i discovered that they would be making them into a movie.
then they started putting out promo posters & cast interviews- and it's like Twilight all over again.
i.can.not.wait.

p.s. i'm team Peeta. all the way.

#3. Brynn turning 1



just kidding. i refuse to believe my child is almost a "toddler". ignorance is bliss & i'm going to embrace said ignorance & cling to my baby.

#4. Thanksgiving



family togetherness & thankful thoughts. good thoughts & wishing people well. yadda yadda. whatevers.
the truth is, i'm excited because i love turkey. i also love mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie & cranberry sauce...and eating so much food that it's really not ok but it kinda is because IT'S THANKSGIVING YA'LL!


#5. Decorating for Christmas & listening to Christmas Music.

i've made a vow (for the husband's sake) that i'll do neither until after Thanksgiving. so at the crack of dawn on Nov 26th i'll be throwing down with some tinsel & Christmas tree lights.
bring it.

and that's it. for now.

more power to you...or not.

i just wrote a long (and witty if i do say so myself) blog post about the snowstorm- lack of power- melting snow for water (and it being akin to being a true pioneer- until the husband shot that down with his "true pioneers didn't melt snow on their gas stoves & tell their other true pioneer friends about it via iPhone" speach- blah blah. see? it was funny)- brynn throwing up like it was her job on saturday night- playing at the mall Play Zone- winning the Dip & Jack-O-Lantern contest at my work- getting power back- etc etc etc

& Blogger ate it. eff. i'm not writing it all out again- because i forget about 95% of it. so i'll just post our weekend via iPhone:

2 pictures about 1 hour before it started snowing:




and then this:



my contest winning dip (Pumpkin Dip & Buffalo Chicken Dip):



(homemade chewy ginger snaps + green apples = killer dipping options for the pumpkin dip)

and our mature Jack-O-Lantern contribution (also contest winning):



not nearly as informative & amusing as the first post- but i suppose it'll have to do.

what we wore

it's been awhile since we've done a "what we wore" session.
this is not because we've taken to walking around naked- no worries- but more so because both girls refuse to look or smile at me when i have my camera in hand.

apparently this can be explained mathematically.

mommy + camera - (time + cute clothes) + cute shoes - (dirt x throwup) - poop / combed hair = no smiles²

does that look right? we've already been over the fact that math & i don't see eye to eye so that's the best i can do. i think everything adds up though.

thankfully, sunday found us partaking of breakfast at a neat little place up in Mason, NH (NH people- Parker's Maple Barn = kick ass) & the lovely fall weather + being outside & out of their element = "i suppose we'll grace mother with a smile."

Alex:


as you can see she is holding on to two of her favorite things in life: Foofa & a SpongeBob Squarepants sippy cup. God help us if either is lost or forgotten. God. help. us.



sweater: Missoni for Target
t-shirt: Target
jeggings: Target
shoes: Missoni for Target

Brynn:


this child is pure magic. she is the most smiley, snuggly, sweetest child in the history of the world. random strangers get leg hugs & mega watt smiles thanks to this kid. a polar opposite of her older sister.





cardigan: Zutano (thrifted)
pants: Target
socks: BabyLegs
shoes: Shoo Shoes

+ mommy:


i think this picture makes it seem like i'm sporting a Jersey Shore'esque tan + hair highlights.
i promise you i am not guilty of either. i'm also not 100% sure what's going on- lets blame it on the lighting. and the fact that my husband took the picture.

my clothes: really? i don't think anyone is chomping at the bit for this look.

once again- a rare picture of the 3 of us = one child looking slightly maniacal & the other looking lost. seriously precious.

happy monday people.

it never ends

last night was spent watching a 2 year old puke up the contents of her stomach onto a shaggy white rug (she wasn't sick- she was pissed) & then attempting to clean her up via a container of wipes (a bath was out of the question)

add to that an hour of rocking her (on my knees) & then another hour of reasoning with her (in an attempt to get her to sleep), plus a screaming session with the husband in regards to God knows what (seriously, i'm still clueless) & lastly skipping dinner (because it was late & i was tired) only to be woken up hours later by my stomach cramping with both hunger & the telltale signs of an unwelcomed monthly guest.

horrible.

i'd like to add that last night was supposed to be my "catch up" night. update this & my food blog. finish pictures. figure out costumes. etc etc etc.

needless to say- none of those things occured. so today i'm just tired & i smell faintly of vomit.

but i can still catch up just a bit:

brynn is 10 months old (this is so late):




and always on the move.

and alex is 2. terribly, wonderfully, brilliantely 2.




and they are starting to get along a little better...




...but only a little.

and sometimes all of the above is just too much. bittersweet.

i have vivid memories of many things. good, bad, so-so.

i can still smell the sweet grass that i used to lie hidden in when i was 10 years old. at the top of a hill i can clearly see the blue sky filled with puffy clouds & i can still feel the rough ground under my palms.

i can clearly recall the silent thrill that rippled through me knowing that i was completely hidden from anyone or anything that might happen to walk by. i can see the thoughts that formed in my brain- how i envisioned simply lying there forever. it was warm. i was happy. the world was simple & it would be so easy to do just this. i watched ants drag grains of sand to their anthill. i listened to crickets & envied the birds that flew overhead.

occasionally i would peak my head out of my hideaway only to quickly pull myself back in the off chance that i might be seen (mainly be my annoying brothers). i'd settle myself back down & spend the next few hours drifting between sleep & daydreams. what a wonderfully endless day.

but then it got darker. my mom called & i knew it was time to head inside. so i got up, brushed myself off and walked down our long driveway as slowely as i could. savoring perfection.

& i can recall being 14 & on a summer mission trip that i thought would never end. a trip that i didn't want to end. i had friends. we were halfway around the world. there was a pretty cool boy in my group (that i sort of, kind of liked- but maybe not really?) i was having the time of my life.

but then the end of august came & it was time to go home. & i cried.

then i was 17 & thrown into the adult world. college. away from home. new friends. boys. girls. temptations. responsibilities.

this was the greatest time yet. it was august & i had 9 months away from home & in a whole new world. 9 months is a long time. surely it would last forever.

but that ended too. as did 19 & 20 & 21.
then i got married (hooray). we went to hawaii. had THE best time. 2 whole weeks.

...& you guessed it. that ended too. (not my marrige- hawaii. whew!)

but it was different. i was finally old enough to realize that good things do end eventually. but then something else comes along. there is always something. so i became more accepting. ok- time flies. i can deal.

then we decided to have a baby. & time seemed to stand still. the one time that i was willing it forward.
negative after negative after negative.
month after month.

then 2 lines. hooray- once again time is on our side.

10 months of knowing that i was the sole lifesource of another human being. & i again found myself wanting it to last forever. like when i was 10.
i was so eager to meet my daughter, yes- but on the same token i was in no way ready to share her with the world.

but nature doesn't care. eventually she made her exit & while i rejoiced in her arrival, i also mourned the loss of what we had. once that cord was cut our relationship became something new. different.

but that's how things work. are you seeing a pattern here?

she cooed. she lifted her head. she rolled. she sat up. she crawled. she walked.

& i saw time quickly slipping away from me. happily but also with a touch of sadness.

& then we did it again. another miracle. 10 more months. sudden labor, a prompt entrance into the world & another cord cut.

coos. crying. snuggles. all of the above all over again.

& here i sit. a 2 year old & a 10 month old. where has the time gone?
i watch them grow & i find myself wanting to freeze time. the right now is perfect. it's so perfect that there is no way it can end, right? i can be 10 through them, can't i?

but i know better. & that's why it's hard to accept. but i'm trying- because it is what it is.
so i try & focus on right now.
i'm not going to think about 1st grade, 4th grade, 8th grade, graduation, boys, friends, highschool, college, marrige, jobs, the real world, marrige, their own children.....

because it literally makes my heart hurt. in a happy way- but i'm nowhere near ready.
so while i'm well aware that time doesn't really stand still- i'm going to pretend anyway. pretend that i'm 10. and live for the now.

except that i'm a 10 year old with a job. and kids. and things a real 10 year old doesn't have to worry about.

but you know what i mean.

i'm back

i'm pretty sure you've all been wracking you're brains trying to figure out where i'd run off too. no blogging for an entire week?! so unlike her! where ever could she be?!

...

i say this assuming that everyone who reads this blog takes time during their day to wonder about my well being...right?

don't answer that.

word up. i'm ok. however i did spend the week doing the following:
- being sidelined with a nasty cold.
- being sidelined with my children who also had a nasty cold.
- being sidelined with the husband who also had a nasty cold.
(are you seeing a theme here?)
- battling a gnarly diaper rash (brynn).
- running around (ie: working) more than i anticipated.
- a late night trip to Urgent Care (for above diaper rash).
- up all night(s) with a 10 month old who was rejecting sleep.
- exhaustion.

you name it. i did it. it was a week that makes me tired just thinking about it. and i was tired- in real life. tired enough that i feel asleep at my desk on thursday.

fell. asleep. at. my. desk.

i woke up- looked around..and fell back asleep. i couldn't help it.
then i downed a Coke & willed myself to respond to the caffeine.

it sort of worked. but then all the tired came back when i picked up 2 little girls that were full of energy. dear God. what is up with children?! why are they so...awake? all. the. time.

i took them home. bathed them. bribed them with several popsicles & put them to bed.
"tomorrow night will be better." i said to myself.
"i'll get home. we'll play. we'll eat dinner. go to bed late...yay. fun stuff. i'm a cool mom."

nope. friday night = a trip to the Urgent Care for a diaper rash that wouldn't quit. poor brynn.
dx = yeast rash. hooray yeast. (did i mention we just dropped $600 taking the dogs to their yearly vet appts to also hear that they had yeasty ear infections? this is my glamorous life people.)

when i told the husband he was all like- "what's up with the yeast?!" good question. i have no idea. i'd say yeast can kiss my ass. but then i'd probably end up with my own yeast affliction...and i'd rather not.

thankfully the weekend was brighter. colds got better. bums looked better (after lots of airing out. which means a 10 month old walking around sans a diaper for most of the day. which means lots of pee puddles. and pee puddle splashing. and pee on my pants. and forgetting about the pee on my pants & wearing them to church the next day & sitting there wondering why i smell urine. looking around, side eyeing people, only to realize that it's me. i smell like urine...then looking around again & hoping that noone picks today to try & make friends with me...)

a photo shoot on saturday revived me. the weather was perfect & the kids were models.
i came home, put children to bed & waved farewell to the husband who was on his way out the door to attend a party.
i edited pictures for 2 hours & went to bed. in silence. it was glorious.

sunday = church, footballs, monkey bread, another diaperless baby day, happy children, naps- the works.

today i'm feeling better. still tired- but more human.
there was a highlight last week, The Hunger Games.

2 words. those books are kick ass.

i'm also bad at math. we've discussed this before.

but whatever. i picked up all 3 books & read them in 3 days. much like Twilight- i couldn't put them down & i found myself dreaming about them. they were my little nugget of happy.

but now i'm focused on this week.
- getting up pictures of alex's room
- finish editing pictures
- clean my house (or perhaps hire someone to do that)
- a birthday party on saturday (for the girls)
- other important things (adult stuff)
- a serious post??? yes. i'll try.

and etc etc.

flashback friday

alex a year ago:





brynn a year ago:



lol.

and i didn't forget to take pictures of alex's room...but i did forget to upload them to my computer & all that jazz. but technically since i just promised to TAKE pictures (not SHARE them) i'm not a liar.

next week. along with some updated pictures of the girls- because i have been slacking hardcore.

now- those of you in New England- go thee & enjoy your weekend. outdoors.
there are rumors of 75-80 degree weather. in October. in New England.

this is crazy ass weather that needs to be embraced. because you KNOW in 3 weeks when it's 35 degrees outside you're going to start wishing from sping...and summer...and etc etc. so go. now.

and lastly- book recs. i need them. The Hunger Games? Harry Potter? tell me what i need to pick up- i need to get my book on.

gracias.

alex's 2nd birthday & other things

first though- a then & now

last year:



this year:





as you can see i had to fight with alex in order to get a picture.

"alex, smile! look at daddy!"
" NO WANNA! WANT GO! FOOFA!"

damnit kid. make a note that it was dark, raining, the light inside the tent was broken & the stupid cow was empty (last year we got to "milk" it)- not ideal picture taking conditions.

never the less- we managed to capture the 3 of us in frame & that works for me.

another Deerfield Fair come & gone. good riddance.

time to backtrack- alex's 2nd birthday. i didn't get a ton of pictures because i was trying to actually be part of her party- but i snagged a few for memory sake:

the theme was Charlotte's Web- but that sort of morphed into a Farm/Fair theme. meh. we had a tent & fair food & hay bales & farm animals (well, chickens) & that'll do pig.

the tent: (last minute rental thanks to the rain)


the food:






(pre filled mason jars = genius)



the setups (s):




(the cotton candy machine was a big hit)

the birthday girl (& friends):



(these were literally the most flattering pictures i got of her all day- she was a hot mess)









(internet friend meeting = yay!)

and there you go. thankfully it didn't actually rain at all during the party- but the tent was still nice to have. and no need for chairs if you've got hay bales- those worked out perfectly.
simple food & drink & coloring books & stickers for the kids.

it was pretty low key & we had around 25-30ish people. the actual party ran from 11-2 & that was a good amount of time for little girls who skipped naps.

but afterwards i decided that alex & brynn each get a 1 & 2 year party- then that's it. no more parties until 1st grade (or somewhere in that age range)- even small parties = exhaustion.

lastly- i had a photoshoot this weekend with someone who reads my blog (remember when i was offering free sessions? people took me up on that- woot.)
when she opened the door & i introduced myself she said, "I feel like I already know you from reading your blog!"

oh snap. i was feeling pretty good about that until i managed to drop my camera bag & appear somewhat insane when i couldn't stop babbling about God knows what.
but she didn't kick me out of her house- so i took that as a good sign.

she introduced me to her angelic children (seriously- they were like perfection) & i filled my camera's memory card within 2 hours.

as i was leaving i said something to the effect of "I'd love to say we should hang out but I'm not sure when that's going to happen..."

as soon as i said it i realized how rude i sounded. it's not that i didn't think she was worthy of hanging out with (in fact, that is the very opposite of what i was thinking) it was more so, "i think you're super & i'd love to hang out & i'd love to say i'll call you but i literally have no time to do anything ever!"

i quickly started babbling again, trying to explain this- but i think she understood what i was, horribly, trying to say & very kindly invited me to her daughter's 2nd birthday party.

whew. ok- unitentional offending averted.
she gave me a hug (i was pretty sweaty from taking pictures- so S, if you're reading this, i'm not usually that sweaty. i swear.) a bottle of wine & sent me on my way.

this just proves that i might sound pretty kick ass online (right?) but i can be awkward. painfully awkward- until you get to know me. then you'll be like- "holy crap! she's so kick ass in real life!!!"

i put up a sneak peak on my FB page (which you're totally allowed to go & "Like" by the way) & i'm excited to finish editing & get her session up on my website.

...right- and also as i was leaving she kindly reminded me that i promised to put up pictures of alex's big girl room & i never did.

for shame. she's right. so i need to do that.
i'm going to take pictures this week- i promise. pretty promise.