and by ultimate i mean- could have won a tomboy award.
i'm wearing a dress but still "skinning the cat" on the monkey bars? hell yeah.
you can see my panties cause i'm doing cartwheels in a skirt? hell yeah.
oh, you dare me to eat that? hell yeah.
arm wrestle? i'll win. hell yeah.
you want me to join the "boys are cooler than girls club"? hell yeah.
it was to the point where my mother seriously started fearing that her only daughter was in fact, her 4th son (thankfully when i was 13 my younger sister came along- and then another when i was 15, so she washed her hands of me and focused on girling the shit out of them)
well- i'm not sure this has anything to do with being a tomboy, but my big "thing" as a child was my absolute hatred of nail polish.
i'm not sure where it came from or why it was so strong- but the thought, sight or smell of nail polish would literally send me running for the hills.
i recall my first day of first grade. OH BOY! i'm in the first grade! i'm so cool! i'm bigger than the kindergarteners & way smarter than the readiness students! (totally mean- but this was the reality)
so as i sat down on the "class friendship rug" i was pretty pumped. i just knew i was gonna find a best friend and it was gonna be just great!
so imagine my pure joy when a pretty little blond sat down next to me (and by "next to me" i mean practically in my lap because that's how things are done in the first grade. no personal space)
i checked her out- she was pretty (score) and had straight, blond hair (double score- i had curly brown hair & loathed it) i mean, she was wearing a dress & mary janes but i knew that girls liked "that stuff" so it was ok.
a friendship was imminent- i could feel it. she smiled at me & i almost combusted right then & there because BY GOLLY, SHE WAS MISSING THE SAME TOOTH THAT I WAS!!!
"hi, i'm rebekah. with a k, not a c like other rebeccas!"
her voice- it was like bells. beautiful. my friend- rebekah with a k.
"hi, i'm trina. i like boy stuff better than girl stuff. but we can still play together!"
my voice- hoarse from screaming the night before because my mother wouldn't let me wear my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt to school
and that was that. we were interrupted by the teacher announcing that just because her son was also in this class, didn't mean that he was her favorite. liar.
anyway- she then announced that after we set up our desks (hello Lisa Frank & TMNT trapper keeper explosion) that we would be heading outside for recess. i could barely contain myself. an almost best friend & recess?! zomg.
so we lined up & marched single file outside- the teacher explained the rules (no spitting, hitting, biting, eating ABC gum- etc) we were released.
now, the entire scool had recess at the same time- so all of the other grades were outside as well- it was like kid overload. i'd never seen so many kids in one place.
i was momentarily struck dumb by the site of 8th GRADERS! omg! they're so big & tall & cool!
but whatever- i ran off to explore.
then all of a sudden- "trina!"
ZOMG! MY REBEKAH!
she was skipping towards me with a big smile & outstretched hands. i started towards her, stoked to show her the penny i'd just found- and then it happened.
now- i wanted you to really see what happened next so i drew you a picture- be warned, it's very graphic and might be disturbing to some viewers:
that's right friends. my beautiful rebekah was wearing bright pink nail polish.
how could this be???
how would we be besties if i couldn't even hold her hand?! (did i mention that? did i mention that the thought of holding hands with a girl wearing nail polish was enough to send me in convulsions? because it was- and i wouldn't)
i was frozen. i had to make a decision. what was i going to do? i liked her SO much!!!
well, as she reached for my hand, i quickly grabbed her arm a declared that we couldn't hold hands. she was momentarily confused until i explained that i was "very sick and con-tay-jus!" (i'd just learned that word- i was stoked to use it)
she quickly agreed that she didn't want to get sick because she had a birthday party to attend that weekend (what a stoke of luck!) so we would hold arms instead!
there was only one word to describe me at that moment- GIDDY! giddy with relief.
we skipped off to play and i made DAMN sure her nasty, nail polish hand didn't touch me- not even once!
and that was that.
eventually my weird phobia became an issue because group time = circle time = hand holding time. well i usually managed to stand between rebekah (who was now totally down with arm holding) and one of the boys. but every now and then i'd get stuck next to some stupid girl who INSISTED on holding my hand, cause "teacher said SO!". stupid harlot.
when i'd refuse, she'd cry & the teacher would look at me sternly. so i would gingerly hold her hand- or rather, the side of her hand, with my thumb & 1st finger. that was the best they were gonna get outta me.
the teacher had a conference with my parents & they threatened to beat the pants off me if i didn't comply. too bad suckas- not doin' it.
so i got my ass whooped.
oh well- still not doing it.
eventually my parents feared retaliation from CPS so my teacher agreed to let me where gloves during circle time.
trina - 1. nail polish - 0.
well, rebekah finally realized that i wasn't "con-tay-jus" and that i simply didn't like nail polish. and you know what? because she was obviously the best friend in the entire world- she stopped wearing nail polish. i wanted to marry her.
the first time we held hands (for realsies) it was like the planets had aligned. we both felt it.
update: sadly, at the end of the year, rebekah's parents decided to move the family to idaho (who the eff moves to idaho?!) so even though we promised to be pen pals & besties 4 ever- it didn't happen. i mean, i was only 7 and my mother got tired of writing out dictated letters full of "i found a penny yesterday" & "i really want a puppy but mom is mean & said no" & "i love ice cream- but not as much as i love you!" ...etc etc.
i wonder if she wears nail polish?
i'd love to tell you that eventually i grew up & realized that nail polish wasn't some sort of evil girl acid that was going to eat through my hands- but that would be a lie. because TO THIS DAY- i still loathe nail polish.
will i be civil and shake/hold hands? well of course, because i'm a mature adult.
but do i still cringe inside? hell freaking yeah.
i effing hate nail polish...
(cept clear & some sparkly ones- cause i am at least 5% girl somehwere inside)
and if you still like me after reading that: clicky?