Friday, January 9, 2009

last night

8:00pm on the couch:
husband: i've really wanted to have sex with you for like the past 2 weeks
me: oh- well, sorry.
husband: yeah well- it's probably because i find you more attractive than you find me
me: um- ok- or it's because i've had an insane amount of activity going on down there and you & i copulating is the last thing on my mind
husband: ok- i know- i just wanted to let you know.
me: good to know- but it's not gonna happen for awhile

10:30pm in the bed:
husband: (starts in with the "please have sex with me moves" which include grabbing my ass & my boobs)
me: (ignores him- hoping he gets the message)
husband: (becomes more persistant)
me: um- i'm not trying to be mean, but you know i'm not allowed to have sex with you
husband: (explodes) argh- whatever- the directions didn't say no sex for like 5 weeks
me: um- i had sex with you two weeks ago so stfu, and also, the directions DO say no sex & i'm not risking it because you're too lazy to jack it (ok- the last line i just thought- did not say)
husband: (silent- because he knows i'm right)
me: (i'm so right- turns around & gets comfortable)
husband: (feels bad so he places his hand on my thigh & falls asleep) good boy

gosh- how annoying. he knows that rules- just stop it already- i'm not punishing you so stop pouting. damn- i don't want your penis! back off!

the end.
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4 comments:

Danse said...

This post made me LOL.

Echloe said...

LMAO. Sorry they are just so pathetic men are. My RE finally gave us the go ahead yesterday and my husband almost jumped on me right on the the exam table.

Good Luck today. I'm hoping for big betas.

Marijana said...

This is too funny!

GL today--can't wait to hear about your big beta numbers. Awesome temp jumps too!

momofonefornow said...

Haha! Guys suck. Hit the showers buddy!