wtf?! appt

*UPDATE* my beta today = 4.75 so that's super! it's "officially" negative but they want to see it @ 0 which i'm sure it'll be when they test me next friday. woo hoo!
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so we had our follow up appt with the RE today. we still don't really know "what" happened last month, but it looks like the pregnancy ended up in the right tube (the one with a small opening) after the embryo floated around for awhile. all in all- that's over & done with.

moving on: after my next period (grrr) we are going to do a Hysteroscopy & an Endometrial Biopsy. this will allow them to look into my uterus to see if there is anything going on- also the biopsy testing (which takes about 2 weeks) will let us know if there are any issues with my endometrial tissues, or any infections going on. once we have those results back (depending on what they are) we will move forward with a fresh IVF#2 cycle at the end of Dec into Jan. the 2 remaining frozen embryos will stay put for now.

problems? with the recent merger at my company, there is a high chance that my insurance will be changing on Jan 1st & if it does, there will be no more IVF coverage. if that's the case then we're kind of in a bind. we really don't want to shell out thousands of dollars- but what choice do we have? i'm praying with everything in me that my company chooses to stay with our current insurance- PLEASE GOD! if they do, then i have no worries. if they don't, well then there's more stress to add to everything. blah. why can't this be easy?

anyway- so i'll know by the begining of November if there are going to be any changes- and if there are then my RE said we'll try & speed things along so that all my transferring & such happens BEFORE my new insurance takes over. i'm not allowed to get KU until Jan 3rd because of the Metho shot soooo- yeah. argh.

anyway- my RE really didn't want to put me through a LAP right now because he said that the 2 other tests should give us plenty of info. obviously if there are huge issues found with those tests then we will look at a LAP- but for now he doesn't feel that it's needed. so i'm going to trust him on that one.

so that's that. keep your fingers crossed that my insurance stays the same!!! please! because that would take a load off my mind! alrighty- i guess i should go work & such. thank God it's friday- seriously.

ok then

alright- so as of friday Oct 10th my BETA= 40!!! which is awesome because it's dropping crazy fast. also i've been charting this whole time & my temps have been dropping and i've been cramping & spotting & BAM! HUGE temp drop today and i just went to the bathroom and it looks like my period has come. now i think you're supposed to wait until your betas are completely at 0 before considering any kind of flow a "period" but i think it actually is.

take a look a my chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c360d

ok- so looking at that i'd say that my body is doing what it's supposed to- yeah? i'm hoping. i'll see what's going on tomorrow and go from there- it looks like i'll hve to manually start a new cycle anyways.

i go back in on the 17th (this friday) for more (hopefully last) bloodwork & my wtf?! appt. i'm a little annoyed because we have to go all the way to Lexington for it, but there was no way i was waiting until the end of Nov for a Bedford appt. frig that. so we're gonna go in- tell him that i want a LAP, Assisted Hatching, an Endometrium Test & etc etc & see wht he says. if he agrees, then good, let's do this. if not, then peace out. we'll go elsewhere.

hmmm- and that's that for now. i'm bummed that it's already Sunday afternoon & it's back to the daily grind tomorrow but what can you do? at least Family Guy is on tonight- if it's as funny as last week's i'll probably die. serously- i almost peed myself last week.

ok- as promised about 15 years ago: here's a couple pictures from this past summer. i never got around to really posting them so i'll put a few in here:

the husband & at one of my best friend's wedding: 08/08/08. um- i don't think he was really that miserable...

captain cheri (adkins) & i on our GoG, GtG weekend.

me & the TTC6+ girl on the swing...weeee

and lastly, my newest niece, Jael. the one i have yet to meet. she was born on June 28th and- yeah. crazy long story that i've typed up before. hopefully i'll meet her soon- but yeah. this is the one they thought was a boy, which explains why she's dressed like one :)

so yeah- i'll post more later. cause everyone likes pictures :)

8dpfet = CD1

FET#2 = big f-ing no
oh.my.God. periods after treatment cycles are THE WORST! i feel like my uterus is falling out.

oh, and also, i'm over the whole bummed out, i'm so sad this isn't working thing- now, i'm just PISSED! FURIOUS! this is UNACCEPTABLE! there is NO reason that all 3 of the "finest IF treatments that money can buy" have FAILED! this is WICKED LAME! it's not FAIR! why do some women get 2 babies, even 3 babies, and i can't even have !?! ugh. i'm so done.

i called and demanded that they move my BETA up to 09/19 (fri) instead of making me wait till 09/22 (mon)- hell, i'll be done my period by friday- so why the frick do i have to go in anyways?!
losers- oh, and my wtf?! appt is scheduled for Oct 6th @ 1:30pm. you better believe i'm gonna go in there and demand answers & more testing!!!

ugh- lame. whatever. i'm done. i'm just gonna focus on working out and getting super skinny again (lol @ again- i've never been super skinny) so i can be hot and stuff. word.

wtf?! appt today

so we had our follow up today: i asked Dr. Glatstein about my tubes and implantation issues & etc etc. he said he's 99? positive that my tubes are not blocked with fluid- if they were they would be swollen & we would have noticed that when we did my IVF cycle (with all the ultrasounds & such) so that's good. also he said that they don't do assisted hatching on 5 day blasts because there is a higher multiples rate (booo) and lastly, he doesn't have any answers on questions about "implantaton issues" he said that is an ongoing discussion in the reproductive science world & there is no definate answer to why or why not the embryos dont attach. obviously if there is a lining issue then that could be the reason- but my lining is always fine & since he is 99% sure that toxic fluid ISN'T puring into my urterus- he has no explaination for why this didn't work- he said again, it's all in the odds- and once again we fell in the shitty ones. ahh well.

soooo he said that he really can't think of any other testing to do for us- my tubes are fluid free, i don't have Endo or PCOS or anything like that- my lining always looks good & all my levels are up to par. the embryos are great quality & everything basically looks good- so we always have a 50/50 shot.

the plan: when my next period starts, i call & we start the ball rolling for FET#2. we'll follow the same protocol with the addition of a couple of drug my nurse forgot about with our last FET (woops!!!) she felt bad about forgetting but i'm rpetty sure that isn't the reason this didn't work last time- the drugs are ant-inflamitory & antibiotics- simply safeguards against infection. so we'll get those in there this time. we're going to stick with the progesterone suppositories and the estrace like last time. so here's to praying that this one works!

if my body does it's thing on time, then i am scheduled for my FET around 09/07'ish. yay! we'll transfer 2 embryos again & see what the Good Lord has in mind!

today was supposed to be the day that adkins & i met up for our wilderness takeover- but alas, it is not to be. we cancelled because of all the damn rain and had to re-schedule for Labor Day weekend.

so instead of leaving work at 2 & heading off into the sunset....i'm stuck here till 5 like the rest of these poor saps, working. lame ass!

at least i have my WTF?! Appt. on tues to look forward toooo- we better get some answers or heads will roll!!! whatever that means.

oh- and i'm starting a diet on monday (gross, i know) it's mainly a vanity diet- i want to drop like 10-15 lbs because i have 2 weddings to attend within the next 2 weeks- so i gotta look good! also my "friend" is having her baby in like 2 weeks & i want to look super skinny & hot & make her jealous because she always bitches about how her children have "killed" her body. sooo yeah...no, i'm not bitter. not a bit!

so yeah- i don't know how well i'll do because diets suck ass- i love food more than anything (cept God) sooo yeah. i'm gonna go to the gym too- so perhaps i'll be a lean machine in the next 2 weeks- we shall see. we shall see.

ok- i have to go work. and by "work" i means google random shit on the internet. der.

wtf?! appt follow up

ok, so we met with the RE and he said that he really has no idea why this didn't work- everything was perfect, but it just didn't happen. that's what we figured, but it was nice to hear him say it. we asked why we only transferred 1 & he said he really doesn't know- he wasn't the RE that did the ET so he had no control over that. this time we're going to put in at least 2, maybe even 3, thawed embies.

he gave us the protocol & it looks SO much easier than a fresh cycle. i'm stoked! i'm a little worried though because it might conflict with our vacation (07/03-07/07) i really hope we can work around it because i don't want to have to wait another cycle!!!

so yeah- we're pretty hopeful that this will work- of course we were last time too and it didn't- but yeah. this HAS to work- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD!
and that's about it for now!

wtf?! appt today

so i took the dog out this morning at 6, like every other morning. he ran off to pee & i hunched down on the step to wait for him to finish. all of a sudden i looked up and there was a deer. it was a doe & she was about 50 feet away at the edge of the woods. max hadn't seen her yet because he was facing me & peeing. she hadn't seen me yet because she was nosing around in the bushes.

i called max over and held onto him and told him to look. as he spotted her, she spotted us. max started wining and wiggling. she just stared at us for a minute & then trotted off. i let max go and he made a bee-line right after her. i called him back and ran inside to tell my husband.
he didn't really care that much, but it totally made my day. we live in a condo and it's not really a rural area. the "woods" that she was in are pretty sparse and i have never seen a deer in them before. so i thought it was pretty neat.

i'd like to be one of those people that could be like, "it's a sign!! of good things to come!!!" but what would that be a sign of? that i'm going to give birth to a fawn? no thanks. hah!

but we do have our WTF?! appt today and it's probably just a coincidence but still, it's pretty neat.
perhaps God just sent her out there to make my day. He's cool like that.

God Bless

WTF Appt scheduled!!!

WTF?! Appt w/RE: June 3rd @ 3 p.m.

yay! i'm glad we got an appt so fast! i also spoke with the nurse today & told her i was having an OBVIOUS period & i am NOT taking any more supps or pills- she said ok, i also told her i want my BETA test moved up- she said ok, hah! of course she did! i have to go in tomorrow @ 7 for my pointless blood test. they're also going to check some other levels too. she kept saying my LP was short but it really wasn't- she didn't know i had a 5 day transfer- psha!
so yeah- she was saying if my progesterone level sucks then i'll have to do PIO shots next time- um, NO! my levels were fine! even high! so i can hopefully just stick to the suppositories. she also said my FET wouldn't be this cycle (obviously) but most likely next cycle (so june! yay!) and yeah. soooo, i'm glad they have finally listened to me & that i have a WTF?! appt set up & that we have some frozen embies!
that's all for now- i'm going to go do all the things pregnant women can't do :)