woo-hoo!!! fresh IVF#2 is a go.

ok- so Dr. Glatstein (my RE) called yesterday & told us that he did get the fax & that we're all set to go forward! i already guessed this, but it was great to hear it from him. he asked me a couple cycle questions & then let me know that his nurse's would be calling me to give me the details for this next cycle. he wished us luck & said that they were all rooting for me- wooo!

the nurse called me a little later & told me to refill my BCP's (i took my last one last night) and take them until this coming sunday- then i go in at 6:30am (ugh) on mon for my suppression check! aaaaand then i start stimming on thurs/fri of next week!!!

yeah- i'm excited because we managed to get this squeezed in before the end of the year! i'd like to say that i'm sure this is going to work- but i'm still pretty wary of everything. we had 3 other perfect cycles that should have worked and they didn't, so why should this one? that sonds really aweful of me, but it's true. i'm not saying that i have no hope, faith, trust etc. but i also have all of the negative feelings that go along with someone who has 3 failed IVF/FET cycles.
-do i want this to work? yes! more than anything!!!
-am i sure it's going to? no. not even close. in fact, i prepare myself for the fact that it might not.

so yeah- i don't know. you can't just throw away the bitterness & be all puppies & rainbows. i did that that the first 2 times & now i just can't. but my fingers are crossed & my prayers are being said. this just HAS to work!!!
i hate to beg God for things- but i'm literally on my knees begging here. PLEASE GOD!! i know He's listening, i just don't know what His plan is. i really hope it's for us to have a baby, but what if it's not? how am i going to deal with that? can i pull it together & be like Job & trust Him 100%? i want to be able to, but it's going to be really hard for me to accept that. so i hope i can avoid all that hardship & that this is His will!! that would be nice :)

sooooo- that's about it. they didn't give me my test results for the biopsy so i'm assuming it came back clean (since he's giving the go ahead) so that's good news. i need to go buy some folic acid & more pre-natals (i've been neglecting to take those because all that extra iron really "gets" to me) and once my wheatgrass pills come in, i (and the man) can resume taking those. i was going to ask about accupuncture, but i forgot. maybe i'll mention it next week if i remember.

here are my stats:
IVF#1= BFN
FET#1= BFN
FET#2= Ectopic
IVF#2= ?

we'll find out what that ? ='s in about 5 weeks. superness!