Tuesday, November 17, 2009

first sexy time after delivery

so it finally happened.

as i snuggled into the sheets lasts night & started to drift off into dreamland, i felt it. IT! the husband's hand casually placed on my hip like, "what's up?" this casual hand to the hip is his "i want to have maritals" sign.

i won't lie- i cringed. not because i don't love my husband, but because i don't love the thought of sex. not now, not ever! i felt the sahara, that is my lady parts, brewing up a sandstorm. oh God.

well, i can't put it off forever right? so we got it done. it was rather awkward/hilarious. we've never used lube (and that was a MUST) so when i told him he needed to use it he balked. but he figured it out- and while he did that i squirted about 1/2 cup more into the desert for good measure. THERE'S A DROUGHT PEOPLE!

since foreplay is pretty limited (the husband had no idea where to put his hands since the boobs are off limit- he kept rubbing my neck...weirdo) it shouldn't have taken long to get down to business, but i put it off as long as i could. i finally told him to "hop in, let's get this done"- poor guy. so romantic of me.

we took it slow aaaand- it wasn't really that bad. i mean, i'd rather do other things- like watch the hills or do laundry (far more pleasurable) but it wasn't horrible. it didn't feel great, but it didn't feel bad either, you know? it was just like- oh yeah, ok- i guess this'll do.
thank GOD for lube though- yeesh.

so yeah- we got the job done. i'm sure it'll be better next time ::fingers crossed::

p.s. the husband said it felt just like it always has ::whew::

p.p.s. i'm pretty sure the husband wiped his luby hand on my body pillow even though he said he didn't ::side eye::
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mats said...

they ALWAYS wipe their lubey hands on the pillow! boys are disgusting!

Jessica said...

Ha ha ha, I am totally cracking up at this post. They do always wipe their lube hands on things they shouldn't! Trevor always does it on the sheets (on my side) or on my ass (which subsequently ends up on the sheets... on my side). Sneaky little devils.

Now go do some laundry or watch The Hills and get happy. LOL.

Rebekah said...

hahaha! I lived this last week. Except, I handed DH the lube and a washcloth to wipe his hands. I'm no dummy! :P

Leigh said...

you are unbelievably funny! This is all so true!!!

I also give him a hand towel :)

pmarie33 said...

Hand towels are a must.

And my captcha is derjiz. lolz