Monday, April 30, 2012

50 Shades of Grey

i'm sure the majority of you have heard about this book. am i right?

apparently it makes women weak in the knees &...moist other places.

hands fan flushed faces & school girl giggles erupt from the mouths of grown women. 5 chapters are devoured in the blink of an eager eye & plans are made for a night of experimenting with significant others.

glasses of wine are poured, baths drawn & long forgotten negliges are laid out. another 5 chapters & 1/2 a bottle of Chablis later & husband, boyfriends & fiances around the globe are wracking their brain to figure out what they did to deserve what is happening right this minute- because dude, i'm doing it again tomorrow. ::high five::

that, my friends, is all thanks to 50 Shades of Grey.

so, what is 50 Shades of Grey? (if you're asking me this then you obviously haven't been paying attention to anything lately) well basically, it's a smutty, badly written, hilarious, omfg did i really just read that?!?, ARE YOU SERIOUS!?, wait...what?!?!, book.

yes- that sums it up rather nicely. i guess you kind of want to read it now, huh?
well, i don't blame you. because you guys- the term "my inner goddess" is used well over 50 times.

women empowerment you say? word up.

i think it's pretty obvious that i'm the 1% here. the 1% of women who aren't left in a puddle of desire after reading 600 pages worth of kinky trash.
this book did nothing for my "inner goddess" but it did give me a bunch of material if i ever delve into the world of stand up comedy. & for that, i must thank Miss E.L. James.

so do i recommend reading this book? um...no comment.

ok who am i kidding, YES! READ IT NOW! if for no other reason then you'll totally "get it" & pee your pants over Ellen Degenerous reading it:



genius.   p.s. i've only read book #1- so be honest with me, are books #2 & 3 equally as awesome? do i need to go purchase them immediately? will my comedic life not be complete until i do?
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17 comments:

sherri said...

Funny, I just bought this book over the weekend to see what all the fuss is about!

Suzanne said...

I SWORE I wasn't going to read these stupid books but I am currently on the third one and yes, they are all equally terrible. She never gives up on the inner goddess bit, and if you tried to make a drinking game of taking a shot anytime Ana bites her lip you'd be dead in less than 20 minutes.

lparsons15 said...

Yup, must read all three!!

Bekah said...

Its funny, for as much as I have heard about this book, its almost ALL bad things. Id read it...but I just dont want to fork up the cash to do so. Im sure Ill find it at a thrift store in a few years

Selena @ Stoneyville said...

I bought the first one since everyone was raving about it and I can't even bring myself to finish it. I think i'm a little over 1/2 way and I have no desire to finish it. Maybe I will maybe I wont but I really dont see what the big deal is.

Sarah said...

LOL! That Ellen video is hilarious! I read the book too and wasn't all that impressed.

rls07 said...

You have to read all three. As badly written as it is....it's a guilty pleasure for the exact reason you said. It's the "OMFG did I just read that?!" factor. Read all three!!!

Abby said...

The second and third turned into more mainstream romance novels, in my opinion...but I read smut like its my job.
Anyways...you need to listen to this clip of Frank Caliendo reading a snippet like Morgan Freeman...omg!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7-D7TwhAYI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Mrs.F said...

OMFG I just died watching that clip. Love her :)

I bought the book a week ago & have yet to start it, but now I'm getting excited!

Sarah-Anne said...

OHMYGOSH. oh ellen. she cracks me up.
never reading the book bee tee dubs.

mama foosa said...

oh i love ellen :)

Zaralex said...

I read all three because I was CONVINCED it had to be going somewhere. There was no way these lame books were going to end happily ever after. I skipped over all the sex parts... not my thing. My husband is just $30 poor-er.

Bridgett Nicolace-Bird said...

i do so love ellen... sounds hilarious. buuuuuuut think i'm gonna pass on the book. these days i barely have time to burp let alone read a book. who am i kidding, i burp like a champ.

t.bird said...

ok so i guess the free copy i found online = book# 1&2 so now i just HAVE to read #3.

...Lord.

Lea said...

I have absolutely no desire to read this crap. Not only am I not interested in smut, but I heard that it's poorly written and that there are many grammar and spelling mistakes. That alone would drive me bonkers. I also heard that it sounds like an 18 year-old girl wrote it. I do, however, like the Ellen video.

Erin said...

I'm so glad you wrote this -- because I read the book just to see what the hype was all about -- and thought it was so lame and ridiculous. When I make that comment, however, other women stare at me like I've lost my mind.

Megan said...

I feel really bad that I dont climax when my boob gets carressed. What's wrong with me?