oh baby. no baby.

no baby yet. 39 weeks & 3 days today & he's still kickin' it on the inside. & i can't complain. i'm so very thankful for a healthy, easy, stress free pregnancy. while my body may take it's sweet time getting pregnant, once it does it easy like sunday morning.

yes, i have heartburn & my crotch aches. i have random leg cramps & sometimes the sudden need to pee takes my breath away & makes me cross my legs- but all in all- i'm A-Ok & so is he.

my due date is 07.07. which is also our 6 year anniversary. so let's see if baby boy follows in his oldest sister's footsteps & keeps on keepin' on until waaay past his "expected" arrival date, or if he pulls a brynn & comes right on time.

as for life- i'm 2 days into my 3rd week as a full time stay at home mom. i'm still sane & i'm pretty sure the girls are as well.

i'll be honest, it's incredibly challenging a good 65% of the time. i wrack my brain for "things" to do, lunch to make, discipline to dole out & i'm in a constant battle of breaking up fights, trying to stem my yelling & fighting my intense desire to just turn on the tv & let them veg out for 10 hours at a time.
but it's oh so fun as well. i listen to them on the monitor every morning (they share a room & it's....hilarious) & i get to hear their first "good morning!" 's & see their first smiles. we eat breakfast & i simply sit & watch them.

have you ever observed a 2.5 & 3.5 year old have a conversation?
it's fascinating.

we do crafts, go to Target, play outside, build towers with blocks, play dress up, eat snacks, take 1500 potty breaks, trek to the splash pad, pray for play dates, snuggle, read books, give hugs & kisses, etc etc etc.

i also toss in laundry, bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning, litter box changing, dog dealings, & other not so "fun" things.

lunch happens, naps (only for brynn since alex is "not a baby" now- her words), afternoon movie, snacks, baths & then dinner. daddy gets home & i become chopped liver. it's the circle of life.

i'm tucking away these last days before baby boy gets here. while it's still just us girls. they're SO excited for him to make his exit- but they're also not aware of what that means for them- so i'm praying that it goes smoothly. that he fits seamlessly into our every day life & they're just....happy.

(instagram: @lookatthebirds)

& what would make me happy? or rather, happier?

figuring out how to make money grow on trees to support the girl's clothing habit. that right, their's. it's not just my fault anymore. champagne tastes over here people.

countdown to stuff & things

clearly, i'm not aiming to win any awards for my blogging.

once a month updates, failure to check my blogger email & my lack of twittering has securely cemented my status as a somewhat flaky internet presence. hats off to those who do this as a job because, damn.

it's not that i dislike blogging- in fact, once i sit down & start typing i can find 500 million things to ramble on about. it's just the whole finding time & energy to sit down & start typing that i fail at. however i also fail at folding laundry, dusting, cleaning out my car & making dinner every night. so, nothing personal- ok?

so what's up right now?

- i spent a week in Marfa, TX at a photography workshop (3 weeks ago) & it was fantastic. i missed the girls like whoa but it was also pure euphoria not to be "responsible" for 4 days.
- i'm 36 weeks pregnant. that means in 4-5 weeks i'll be responsible for another human life. & i'll be buying stock in maxi pads....send chocolate. & some Dermoplast.
- i'm about 25% ready for said 3rd kid to arrive. you guys, i don't even have plain white onesies! i have some diapers, my boobs, random infant clothes & a (not yet installed) carseat. that's about it. i should probably get on that.
- this is my last week of work. as of friday i'll be a 100% stay at home mom. i fully suspect that i'll be a jumpy mess on monday- waiting for my phone to ring & work asking me where the hell i am. because i'm probably the only one who hasn't fully accepted that this is real. i mean, work bought me a cake & everything so clearly they're all like, "peace!" but i'm all like, "wait...what?"
- alex has been driving me crazy. literally. sometimes i just stare at her in horror. because she's my kid & i love her but i sort of want to...sell her. or something. maybe it's because she's 3.5 & there's a secret 3.5 year old club i didn't know about where they get together & plan ways & scenarios in which to make their parents think that they're the insane ones. i don't know. but that has to be it.
i mean, what other reason could there be for 24/7 tantrums, dramatic scenes at Target, random screaming over nothing, serious sass (like, makes my head spin sassy backtalk), way too much "i don't want that!" (& then 3 minutes later) "I WANT THAT!!!! OMG!!! THE WORLD IS ENDING & YOU DON'T LOVE MEEEEE!!!" & etc etc etc. it's mind boggling & i'm at a loss most of the time.
- thankfully brynn is still somewhat not as awful. i mean, she can pitch a fit worthy of an Oscar & she completely ignores me when i say "No. Stop. OMG YOU'RE GOING TO MAIM YOURSELF IF YOU JUMP OFF THAT TABLE!" but, i still have some control.
- we got a cool letter from the IRS that went something like, "hey! we like dicking with you so guess what? you owe us $2k from 2011! yay! isn't that super awesome, cool & fun? we think so too! so feel free to write a big fat check & send it our way before next month. ::thumbs up::"
needless to say, no. just no. so i hauled my huge self over to the IRS office today to sort it out. part of it we legit owe (& we knew that because we neglected to file a W-2) so we're down with sending that part to Uncle Sam- but the other part was because our lovely accountant neglected to file a form that let's the government know that we're using our HSA dollas for actual medical expenses. because i guess if you don't do that they think you spent $3k on a trip to Cabo. umbrella drinks in the house.
so thankfully i simply have to fill out a form & mail it in. but still. sitting in the IRS office is awkward. because there is no privacy & i'm totally aware that the lady in front of me owes over $25k in back taxes. dear God.
- i think that sums it up.

life is pretty much the norm. waiting for a baby. planning on a trip to the zoo for Father's Day. cleaning all the things! hugs & kisses from toddlers. ice eating. (like, insane amounts of ice eating because my low iron has induced pregnancy pica like mad & eating ice appeals to me more than...anything. even Ryan Gossling.) trips to the park & splash pad. summer temps. trying to temper my online shopping (because, hi, i don't have a $ paying job anymores). Target. Starbucks. getting pigs (yes, real pigs). & all that jazz.

& instagram (@lookatthebirds) still gets way more action than my "real" camera. but i'm ok with that right now.

& so on & so forth.

mother's day

realistically, i am well aware that every day is mother's day. 

every morning when i wake up my first thoughts are that of mom. when i get up at 1, 3 & 5am am to pee (thank you un-born son)- i'm mom. 

i peek in on my sleeping children because i'm mom. i make breakfast, snacks, lunch & dinner because, mom.
clothing is washed, floors are cleaned, hair is combed, noses are wiped, diapers are changed, pee is cleaned up, discipline happens, punishments are doled out, bribes are made, hugs & kisses are given & "i love you!"'s are said because i'm mom.

so yes. mother's day = every day & i have to tip my hat in acknowledgment to the corporate giants for lumping all of those days into 1 Sunday a year in order to boost the economy. well played Hallmark.

but it's still awesome. & while mom are always awesome- they're just a little more awesome this 1 day a year, you know? at least that's what my children tell me. 

so happy mother's day. yesterday, today & tomorrow & next week. & etc etc. 

as of late

random snippets from life that i want to remember forever.

brynn:
- lately brynn has been ending 95% of everything she says with "i rest my case!"
most of the time, this leaves me unsure as to an appropriate response because, after all, she's rested her case.
- she's taken to saying, "mom/dad/grandma, watch this!" & then she'll do something completely random. like scrunch up her face, blink her eyes 20 times or twirl around. then she'll look at you, with a huge grin, & await your response. & that response better be worthy of whatever she just did because if not, you're gonna watch her do that same thing about 50 more times until you. get. it.
- she calls alex "dear." like, "it's ok dear. i'll get that for you dear. do you want your juice dear? YOU'RE DUMB DEAR!" for the most part alex accepts this- but sometimes she's wary.
- she's been throwing these incredible tantrums. like, these bad boys are epic. they literally started overnight & at times i'm powerless to stop them. i usually balk. wait for my moment. grab her writhing body & toss her onto our bed & shut the door. then i breath really hard for a few minutes (cause you guys, i'm huge right now) & wait it out. once it's mostly quiet i'll sneak open the door, peek in & ask her if she's done. it's usually 50/50.
- she is still the sweetest little girl ever. hugs & kisses. so many snuggles & requests to be held. she's such a love bug & i simply adore her.

alex:
- she's been quoting lines from movies in a very dramatic fashion. some of my favorites?
* "but MOM! JUST LISTEN!" - Brave
* "but we're SISTERS! born of the same laugh!!!" - The Secret of the Wings
* "if i die, i'll die with HONOR!" - Mulan (this one was a bit worrisome at first)
* "this is my magic hammer, from my father." - Wreck it Ralph
* "i just don't see how a work that makes such wonderful things, could be bad!" - The Little Mermaid
the list goes on. & when she uses them in the correct context- it's brilliant.
- she likes to tell me "mom, it's ok!" whenever she does something "wrong". ie: trashes her room? "mom, it's ok. you can just clean it." wets her pants? "mom, it's ok. i'll just get new underwear." hits brynn? "mom, it's ok. she's SO ANNOYING!" etc etc.
- she's only ever hungry for juice or candy. me: "alex, are you hungry?" her: "ummm, yes!" me: "ok, what do you want?" her: "ummmm, juice & candy!" me: "too bad. you're getting a bagel." her : ::flips out::
- she's been holding actual conversation with us. it's incredible to sit & just listen to her talk. because she knows stuff, you know? & she can carry on a conversation about anything & everything. & she just loves to get our attention & just talk to us. it's so endearing.
- she's my mini-me. i see myself in her so much & it makes me giddy/terrified. i want to stop time & keep her as she is. but i'm also so looking forward to watching her grow. ::dramatic sigh::

& in case you've forgotten what we look like/want to know what we've been up to: (via instagram: lookatthebirds)

to sum it up: sisters, toddler fashion, i'm huge, baby boy clothes are fun & we've been getting our craft on.

happy friday. seriously- i'm tired, & ready for some mindless tv (Grimm- what what) so bring on the weekend.

staying home & easter recap

so i guess i'll stop bitching about how cold & miserable it still is. & how it was 32 degrees this morning & i had to blast the warm air in my car to rid the windshield of frost. & how i can still see my breath outside...in mid-april. because you're probably sick of it....right? ok. moving on.

(did you see that? did you see how i managed to still bitch about how cold & miserable it still is in mid-april while telling you i was going to stop bitching? it's ok, you can say what you're thinking- genius.)

i just finished my 2nd week of being home part time. you guys? it's super/sorta fun. even though it rained all this week & we were cooped up indoors- no one got seriously hurt.
we've managed to read every single book we own about 5 times & i've drawn more llamas pooping (it's a daily request. i'm handed the Magna Doodle & the words "mamma, you draw a llama pooping? please?" are uttered) than i care to admit.
i've stood perfectly still, whilst holding a flashlight above my 3 year old's head per her request  & admired her "perform" & incredible amount of popstar songs.
trips to Target have been short & not left me $100 poorer (i KNOW, right?) but it's allowed us to get out of the house & shame me into putting on actual clothing.

fantastic. i mean, i've also said "omg are you freaking kidding me?!" out loud (to a 2 & 3 year old) more than anyone ever should, but that's par for the course, am i right? high five. i got this.

easter recap time. easter was great. we're pretty big fans of Jesus (& candy- let's be honest) around here so celebrating His life, death & resurrection is something that fills me with joy. He is risen. i mean...just think about it for a minute.

yeah. awesome, right? i think so.

we don't "do" the easter bunny & yadda yadda, but after church we did indulge in some candy + baskets full of little trinkets. i also tortured my children by one again dressing them alike & making them pose for pictures. i also (with a lot of zipper help from the husband) squeezed into a dress & shoes that made me look presentable. i even combed my hair. like i said, easter was great:

looking back @ the past 3 easters- omg. my babies are HUGE!
i'm pretty stoked for next year's pictures- complete with little brother (AH!). & a dress that i can breathe in (seriously you guys, i was shocked i didn't bust a seam. as soon as i could i stripped it off & replaced it with my bathrobe. seriously glorious.)

happy friday.