oh baby. no baby.

no baby yet. 39 weeks & 3 days today & he's still kickin' it on the inside. & i can't complain. i'm so very thankful for a healthy, easy, stress free pregnancy. while my body may take it's sweet time getting pregnant, once it does it easy like sunday morning.

yes, i have heartburn & my crotch aches. i have random leg cramps & sometimes the sudden need to pee takes my breath away & makes me cross my legs- but all in all- i'm A-Ok & so is he.

my due date is 07.07. which is also our 6 year anniversary. so let's see if baby boy follows in his oldest sister's footsteps & keeps on keepin' on until waaay past his "expected" arrival date, or if he pulls a brynn & comes right on time.

as for life- i'm 2 days into my 3rd week as a full time stay at home mom. i'm still sane & i'm pretty sure the girls are as well.

i'll be honest, it's incredibly challenging a good 65% of the time. i wrack my brain for "things" to do, lunch to make, discipline to dole out & i'm in a constant battle of breaking up fights, trying to stem my yelling & fighting my intense desire to just turn on the tv & let them veg out for 10 hours at a time.
but it's oh so fun as well. i listen to them on the monitor every morning (they share a room & it's....hilarious) & i get to hear their first "good morning!" 's & see their first smiles. we eat breakfast & i simply sit & watch them.

have you ever observed a 2.5 & 3.5 year old have a conversation?
it's fascinating.

we do crafts, go to Target, play outside, build towers with blocks, play dress up, eat snacks, take 1500 potty breaks, trek to the splash pad, pray for play dates, snuggle, read books, give hugs & kisses, etc etc etc.

i also toss in laundry, bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning, litter box changing, dog dealings, & other not so "fun" things.

lunch happens, naps (only for brynn since alex is "not a baby" now- her words), afternoon movie, snacks, baths & then dinner. daddy gets home & i become chopped liver. it's the circle of life.

i'm tucking away these last days before baby boy gets here. while it's still just us girls. they're SO excited for him to make his exit- but they're also not aware of what that means for them- so i'm praying that it goes smoothly. that he fits seamlessly into our every day life & they're just....happy.

(instagram: @lookatthebirds)

& what would make me happy? or rather, happier?

figuring out how to make money grow on trees to support the girl's clothing habit. that right, their's. it's not just my fault anymore. champagne tastes over here people.

as of late

random snippets from life that i want to remember forever.

brynn:
- lately brynn has been ending 95% of everything she says with "i rest my case!"
most of the time, this leaves me unsure as to an appropriate response because, after all, she's rested her case.
- she's taken to saying, "mom/dad/grandma, watch this!" & then she'll do something completely random. like scrunch up her face, blink her eyes 20 times or twirl around. then she'll look at you, with a huge grin, & await your response. & that response better be worthy of whatever she just did because if not, you're gonna watch her do that same thing about 50 more times until you. get. it.
- she calls alex "dear." like, "it's ok dear. i'll get that for you dear. do you want your juice dear? YOU'RE DUMB DEAR!" for the most part alex accepts this- but sometimes she's wary.
- she's been throwing these incredible tantrums. like, these bad boys are epic. they literally started overnight & at times i'm powerless to stop them. i usually balk. wait for my moment. grab her writhing body & toss her onto our bed & shut the door. then i breath really hard for a few minutes (cause you guys, i'm huge right now) & wait it out. once it's mostly quiet i'll sneak open the door, peek in & ask her if she's done. it's usually 50/50.
- she is still the sweetest little girl ever. hugs & kisses. so many snuggles & requests to be held. she's such a love bug & i simply adore her.

alex:
- she's been quoting lines from movies in a very dramatic fashion. some of my favorites?
* "but MOM! JUST LISTEN!" - Brave
* "but we're SISTERS! born of the same laugh!!!" - The Secret of the Wings
* "if i die, i'll die with HONOR!" - Mulan (this one was a bit worrisome at first)
* "this is my magic hammer, from my father." - Wreck it Ralph
* "i just don't see how a work that makes such wonderful things, could be bad!" - The Little Mermaid
the list goes on. & when she uses them in the correct context- it's brilliant.
- she likes to tell me "mom, it's ok!" whenever she does something "wrong". ie: trashes her room? "mom, it's ok. you can just clean it." wets her pants? "mom, it's ok. i'll just get new underwear." hits brynn? "mom, it's ok. she's SO ANNOYING!" etc etc.
- she's only ever hungry for juice or candy. me: "alex, are you hungry?" her: "ummm, yes!" me: "ok, what do you want?" her: "ummmm, juice & candy!" me: "too bad. you're getting a bagel." her : ::flips out::
- she's been holding actual conversation with us. it's incredible to sit & just listen to her talk. because she knows stuff, you know? & she can carry on a conversation about anything & everything. & she just loves to get our attention & just talk to us. it's so endearing.
- she's my mini-me. i see myself in her so much & it makes me giddy/terrified. i want to stop time & keep her as she is. but i'm also so looking forward to watching her grow. ::dramatic sigh::

& in case you've forgotten what we look like/want to know what we've been up to: (via instagram: lookatthebirds)

to sum it up: sisters, toddler fashion, i'm huge, baby boy clothes are fun & we've been getting our craft on.

happy friday. seriously- i'm tired, & ready for some mindless tv (Grimm- what what) so bring on the weekend.

this is what's up

first off- it's march 19th & Easter is in less than 2 weeks. so like any normal human being, my mind is focused on flowers, new grass, warmer weather & possibly skipping the tights when donning our Easter dresses.

but no. today march decided that it has a love affair with snow & dumped a good 6-8 more inches off in our yard. lovingly, like it's a gift that we should thank the 3rd month of the year for. "what's this? more snow?! oh my! you shouldn't have!"

so now, saying the word "spring" feels like i'm saying a dirty word. in trying to educate the girls about the seasons (& justify buying more flip flops) i say, "yes! spring is coming soon...." & then i stand there all twitchy & bitter because i'm clearly a liar.
look at me- wearing wool socks, sweatpants & my bathrobe while uttering the words "spring is coming."
look outside- at the layer of white, frozen ground & freezing temperatures.
look at our propane bill-  dear God, look at it!

i could go on, but i think you catch my drift.

secondly- in 2 weeks my current working full time working mom status will change to a part time status in preparation for a...full time stay at home status. damn. i'm all kinds of excited/worried/freaking out/pumped/what have i done...
this is going to be completely new for me. i have ALWAYS had a job. always. i've never really seriously entertained the idea of staying home (at least not full time) & outside of maternity leave, the longest i've ever been at home with the girls (without a "reprieve") is a week. tops.

but adding a 3rd child completely changes the dynamic of our lives. there is also the fact that KB (nanny) will be leaving us at the end of this month to prepare for her own new addition (in may) & 3 toddlers + 2 newborns just wasn't going to be a viable option for any 1 person to handle. add onto that the random schedule of Pre-K that will start in Sept & the mind blowing cost of 3 children in daycare...well, that made our decision for me to stay home almost a no brainer.

thankfully, i'll be able to transition into this new role by cutting back my workweek to 3 days. i'll be working part time through april & may & wrapping up in june. that'll give me a few more weeks to get "used" to staying home 24/7 before baby bird #3 arrives. it also gives me a few extra weeks with my girls. just us- before we introduce a game changer.

wish me luck. or rather, give me ideas on what to do all day, how to stay sane, how not to go to Target every day, etc etc.

thirdly- i wish i had pictures to share. real pictures that have been taken with my real camera that cost me real money & that i should spend more real time using. but alas. i do not.

my iPhone has become my go to & even then, i don't take nearly as many pictures as i could/should. i'm actually going to be attending a photography workshop in May in TX & i'm really hoping it inspires me to pick up my camera more. besides being my part time business, it's also the tool i should be using to capture memories of my own family & i am failing. so hard. because i'm so tired & burnt out. & just...just.

but for now, a few iPhone captures.

moccasin day, dora coma, belly, Pre-K sign up day, judging cat, brynn snuggles, playday, naptime, fresh baked bread, happy st. patrick's day