Monday, November 14, 2011

you understand- right?

it's been over a week since i last updated.

if i told you i'm cringing over that fact would you forgive me?

i'm not gonna lie- i looked down at my calendar last week & i couldn't believe it was already wednesday. then friday. bad.

you've all heard my excuses- i'm tired. tired. tired. busy. sick. so much to do. tired some more. work. play. errands. more sick. diaper rash- etc etc. so i'm just going to recycle all of those. because once again:

- we are battling a diaper rash. i cannot wrap my head around a child sitting in a poopy diaper long enough to aquire a rash. but that's what went down on friday. the husband picked up the girls (from my in law's) & when brynn started screaming, not even 30 min after they go home, & i took a gander in her diaper- ugh. so much red. so sore. her poor little butt.
i was furious. in fact, i'm still annoyed. i do understand that rashes happen- but come on. so this weekend had me watching for every poop & pee & running around cleaning up after the trail my diaperless 11 month old left.

it's better today. but the girls are at my mother's (another location where rashes seem to occur) & all i can do is hold my breath for a bottom that look at least the same, if not better.

- i am truly busy. i've had a couple of shoots (yay) among other things & plus it's hunting season. which means many hours sitting in the woods doing God knows what (the husband- not me) which leaves me with the girls. which is fine. but busy.

- the holidays are fast approaching. this means cooking, baking, making gifts (i'm cheap this year), getting cards ordered, cleaning, etc etc

- brynn's 1st birthday is also coming. it's going to be small but still- cards to order, a meal to plan, a cake to bake. the works.

- life crap. we (or should i say the husband) own a condo aside from our home. we couldn't sell it when we bought our house so the husband's brother moved in with the intention of renting it until he could buy it. long story short- that didn't work out. a year later, my father moved in- but rent free. finally we decided we needed rent- so my younger brother moved in last month & we thought we were good.
...yeah. not so much. now he can't pay. so out he goes. and once again we're left with paying another mortgage.
so now i'm rushing to replace the carpets, clean & update & hopefully get this place rented out to someone who IS NOT family.
paying 2 mortgages + childcare (which = more than our mortgage) is NOT fun. at all. in fact, it's downright depressing & slightly stressful.

- the list goes on.

i'm really not complaining (well, perhaps a tad) but sometimes i just want to sit down & not have to worry about anything. work, bills, children, husband, life, cars, animals, other people...

but that's not how things work. so i pull up my bootstraps & make time & energy for everything.

then again- looking back at my list- should i really even be complaining at all? so many people are dealing with so many more things. things that i can't even imagine or being to try & comprehend. some of the things i mentioned aren't even "bad" things.

the holidays? those are wonderful. just busy.
so should that be something that tires & annoys me? probably not.
but am i tired & annoyed? yes.

goodness- now i feel guilty.
perhaps you should disregard everything you just read because in all reality- my life is wonderful. & normal. & full of so much. even if that "so much" does include exhaustion & way too much laundry.

and this, people, is how my brain works 24/7. wavering bwtween guilt & justification. frustration & happiness. contentment & selfishness.
i'm not the only one- am i?

i'm going to blame this random rambling entry on the fact that brynn kept me up until 12:30 this morning. & i had to be up by 4. yeah- you do the math.

anyway- if you've made it through the above, here is a gift for you eyes.

i had a shoot @ the most beautiful location this past weekend.

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right? ok. i feel a little better now.
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Mitzi G. said...

stunning photos & you can complain anytime.........I'll listen & it'll actually make me feel better for doing it myself :)

Erica said...

You are a kick-bootay photographer....i think you should post some photography tips as a blog post sometime :)

Anonymous said...

This is so random but I think that may have been my cousins wedding. I'm from Western Mass and I happened upon your blog long ago throught The Bump channels. I recognize the location from the pictures that my parents took. Small world! -Kristen

Kristin said...

I found your blog through The Bump. I have been following for a long time, but usually remain quiet. I had to comment on the pictures though. They're gorgeous. I live in MA and it looks exactly like a spot where someone took pictures of my DD over the summer. If you were in MA, I'm wondering if it's the same place.

MarMat said...

I was going to write an email today.
Is not that I don't like your girls pics, but truth is I missed you, your readings and your recipes.
I think I haven't told you I've been adicted to potatos wrapped in bacon with the yummy dipping.
Anyways, here is a big hug to you. I know Brynn's party is going to be awesome, and hopefully the renting with the condo will do as well.

Momma Wilson said...

my lil dude can have poop in his diaper for a second and get a terrible rash, corn starch heals it amazingly fast! you may want to give it a try!

oh and your photos are awesome!!!

t.bird said...

Anon/Kristin- yes, this was a shoot @ The Grist Mill in Sudbury, MA. very small world! i didn't shoot the wedding (it was a family shoot) but i did see 2 weddings being shot- crazy!

and so very pretty there!

Mitzi- good! ha. yay!

Erica- that's a good idea actually! i mean, i'm no pro but i think i've got some tips!

MarMat- thank you for missing me! ha, i so need to update my food blog (omg) & get a better schedule in the works (for updating & such) :)

Momma W- really?! i haven't heard of this one. do you just put it on dry? i'm actually excited to try this out next time- thank you!

Jess said...

beautiful photos! Sorry about the diaper rash, that's the worst!! You can complain anytime, what else do mamas have blogs for? lol.
PS: my word verification is "bones". A little creepy, but kinda cool. hah.

acarlybella said...

GORGEOUS photos! I'm also from Western MA, and the first thing I thought when I saw them was, "I miss home!"

Anonymous said...

re: diaper rash - there's a baby powder/corn starch mix at the pharmacy you can buy that works wonders. Clears up even the nastiest rashes that my son has had.