meh

this whole not being able to get pregnant thing is REALLY starting to get to me. i can't help it. even seeing girls that had early m/c's, getting pregnant a few months after, bothers me- it's really horrible of me, but it's true. i mean i can't imagine the pain of a m/c & i feel very bad for them but i mean, i've tried for 10 months & can't get pregnant once, and they've tried for like 2,3, or 4 & manage to get pregnant twice. granted they lost a baby & that's not fair at all & i'm not saying it was easy but...i don't know. it sucks. i'm happy for them, but i'm very bitter.
i think that's what it comes down to- i'm very bitter right now.
i had to sit & talk to me below (a few posts down) mentioned pregnant friend last night for 4 hours & i pretended to be happy for her when the whole time i just wanted to smack her and run out. THAT'S VERY BAD!
and to top it off we can't even try this cycle becase we're going away on a trip w/friends right when i'm ovulating & seeing that we're sleeping in a tent with them it's just NOT going to happen. LAME! if we don't get pregnant next month then i have to go on Clomid & see what happens from there. i hope it works.

whatever- i'm gonna go take my cake out of the oven.
God bless.