it's quiet

i'm sitting here typing furiously.

seriously- i'm pretty sure i look like i'm doing something rather important & if anyone were to walk in they would be all like, "damn, look at the woman doing something seriously important! GO HER!"

...or rather if someone were to walk in i'd panic because it's 7:45 AM & i'm not expecting anyone. so it'd be a robber & i'd be all like, "damn...well this is awkward."

but i digress. i'm typing furiously because it's currently quiet. all 3 children are sleeping & i probably have all of 3.5 minutes to myself. & i already spent 30 seconds of that peeing & simultaneously brushing my teeth (sorry for the visual) so i'm playing a dangerous game with time right now...

(& just like that, i can hear one of my offspring downstairs. she's awake & talking to herself. but soon she'll do her best to wake up her sister & then they'll both start calling my name (literally- sometimes they yell, "HEY TRINA!!! COME HERE!" like, excuse me child? it's mom to you suckers.) so yeah. & now i've wasted 2 minutes of my remaining time talking about how i have no time. I FAIL AT TIME!)

but yes. LIFE! life is good. it's hectic & we stay home a lot (because taking 3 children out in public is daunting people. & terrifying. & just a sad affair most times.) but oh my, i love it. my children. 3 of them. all mine. my responsibility. my creations. mine mine mine. (ok, technically they're God's- but He's been nice enough to loan them to me for the next 50+ years so i'm going "mine" for the time being)

everyday is a challenge.

alex is ever so much the almost 4 year old terror that i've read about in parenting magazines. side eyes & "NO!"'s & yelling & defiance & straight up...just no words, you know?

& brynn is 2.5 ALL.THE.WAY. "NO!" is her favorite word. she hits when she's pissed (which is a good 90% of the time). she refuses to give up her paci & refuses to entertain the thought of 100% potty training. she thinks she's still small enough to launch herself into my midsection for a hug, while i'm holding her brother. it makes for 2 crying children & a gasping for breath mom.

& cohen is 5 weeks old. he's pretty chill but he's not a fan of being "ignored". he'll fall asleep, i'll put him down & BAM. "hello mother. i'm awake & i demand that you pick me up this instant. thank you very much." well ok then. i wear him when i can, but it's really not always an option. plus, the kid is a furnace & one he's strapped in we're both soaking wet within 5 minutes. so there's that.

but. but. BUT. it's awesome. sometimes alex will come over & touch my arm & smile at me. & sometimes brynn will sneak up from behind & bear hug my neck. & cohen smiles. little gassy smiles but smiles none the less. & sometimes the girls play together & instead of screams, i hear giggles. & then they give each other a hug & hold hands. & then brynn will come over & ask to hold cohen. & i'll let her & she'll give him a kiss & then say, "ok. i'm done. take him."
& we do "picnic" lunches inside (in front of the tv because Dora is a lifesaver) & we're all chillin' on the floor & it's just perfect.

so while i still spend a good portion of my day reiterating the same rules & yelling (yeah, i still do that) & cleaning up poop & pee & putting littles in time outs & kissing boo-boos & hugging it out & doing laundry & cleaning & trying to figure out dinner & cleaning up cat puke (OMG CAT!) & telling the dogs to shut up & acting as a referee & walking around in a milk & spit up stained tank top & ALL OF THE THINGS LIKE THAT - it's still awesome. & when i climb into bed at night, exhausted & holding my breath that the little boy next to me will stay asleep for a few hours, i am SO thankful.
for my husband. my children. my family. my home. my life. our health. my faith. food on the table. clothes on our backs. everything.

so yeah. that's life right now.

we're also gearing up for fall. alex starts Pre-K in a month & i'll be back to "work" taking people's pictures (hopefully). we have birthdays & anniversaries coming up. doctor's appointments & last minute shopping.
the weather is already getting cooler & i'm reminded that fall is literally, right around the corner. time is flying.

speaking of time, i think it's been 10 minutes. & it's still semi-quiet. this might be a record. this kid is grunting though:

so i'd better wrap it up with some instagram pics of our life these past few weeks (via @lookatthebirds)

aaaand the smallest one is awake. ciao.

this is what's up

first off- it's march 19th & Easter is in less than 2 weeks. so like any normal human being, my mind is focused on flowers, new grass, warmer weather & possibly skipping the tights when donning our Easter dresses.

but no. today march decided that it has a love affair with snow & dumped a good 6-8 more inches off in our yard. lovingly, like it's a gift that we should thank the 3rd month of the year for. "what's this? more snow?! oh my! you shouldn't have!"

so now, saying the word "spring" feels like i'm saying a dirty word. in trying to educate the girls about the seasons (& justify buying more flip flops) i say, "yes! spring is coming soon...." & then i stand there all twitchy & bitter because i'm clearly a liar.
look at me- wearing wool socks, sweatpants & my bathrobe while uttering the words "spring is coming."
look outside- at the layer of white, frozen ground & freezing temperatures.
look at our propane bill-  dear God, look at it!

i could go on, but i think you catch my drift.

secondly- in 2 weeks my current working full time working mom status will change to a part time status in preparation for a...full time stay at home status. damn. i'm all kinds of excited/worried/freaking out/pumped/what have i done...
this is going to be completely new for me. i have ALWAYS had a job. always. i've never really seriously entertained the idea of staying home (at least not full time) & outside of maternity leave, the longest i've ever been at home with the girls (without a "reprieve") is a week. tops.

but adding a 3rd child completely changes the dynamic of our lives. there is also the fact that KB (nanny) will be leaving us at the end of this month to prepare for her own new addition (in may) & 3 toddlers + 2 newborns just wasn't going to be a viable option for any 1 person to handle. add onto that the random schedule of Pre-K that will start in Sept & the mind blowing cost of 3 children in daycare...well, that made our decision for me to stay home almost a no brainer.

thankfully, i'll be able to transition into this new role by cutting back my workweek to 3 days. i'll be working part time through april & may & wrapping up in june. that'll give me a few more weeks to get "used" to staying home 24/7 before baby bird #3 arrives. it also gives me a few extra weeks with my girls. just us- before we introduce a game changer.

wish me luck. or rather, give me ideas on what to do all day, how to stay sane, how not to go to Target every day, etc etc.

thirdly- i wish i had pictures to share. real pictures that have been taken with my real camera that cost me real money & that i should spend more real time using. but alas. i do not.

my iPhone has become my go to & even then, i don't take nearly as many pictures as i could/should. i'm actually going to be attending a photography workshop in May in TX & i'm really hoping it inspires me to pick up my camera more. besides being my part time business, it's also the tool i should be using to capture memories of my own family & i am failing. so hard. because i'm so tired & burnt out. & just...just.

but for now, a few iPhone captures.

moccasin day, dora coma, belly, Pre-K sign up day, judging cat, brynn snuggles, playday, naptime, fresh baked bread, happy st. patrick's day