taps mic.

oh you guys. i've tried so hard.

i keep planning to sit down & catch up. to write out life. to upload pictures. to be hilarious.

but. LIFE! you know?

cohen is 6 months old now. 6 MONTHS OLD NOW! 
brynn is 3 now. 3 YEARS OLD NOW!
alex is 4 now. 4 YEARS OLD NOW! {repeating myself means this shit is real}

but in between Pre-K runs, play dates, birthdays, pedi visits, church, life, grocery shopping, making lunches, passing out snacks, making 2nd & 3rd lunches {seriously people?}, reasoning with toddlers, changing diapers, potty training, cursing winter, loving winter, cursing winter again, wiping noses, watching what i eat {BWAHAHAHAHA!}, & ALL THAT JAZZZZZ....this poor little blog gets pushed to the back of my to do list.

in fact, i think it may have simply fallen off the list. & i'm torn on how i feel about that.
i blogged for all of alex's current life & all of brynn's & then when cohen came along i tried....but just re-read the above stuff & yeah. you see?

i do love blogging. but i also love living & not trying to remember every detail. not trying to upload pictures in a reasonable amount of time. not feeling like, "oh crap, i should blog that...." but then feeling like i'm suuuuper behind because i haven't.

i've "met" SO many awesome people through this blog. internet friends & real life friends.
& reading back through old post, oh it's glorious! to read a post & be like, "OMG I REMEMBER THAT! LOL!" 

so, what to do? what to do?

this is obviously a 1st world problem here. i get that. no one's life is going to be affected if i stop blogging. & no one's life will be affected if i don't. i'm not THAT much of a big deal, so don't worry- i'm not delusional & biting my nails or losing sleep over this. der.

but i'm not sure i'm ready to say peace out either. because 7 years {that's what we're going on here- whoa} is a long time. & i like typing things out & putting pictures up. when i have time, i really do.

so for now the old girl stays. & i'll once again do my best to pay her a little bit more attention.
but you can always find me on Instagram: @lookatthebirds - that is if you like being bombarded with pictures of my kids + food + my kids some more + more food + ...you get the idea.

xo

it's quiet

i'm sitting here typing furiously.

seriously- i'm pretty sure i look like i'm doing something rather important & if anyone were to walk in they would be all like, "damn, look at the woman doing something seriously important! GO HER!"

...or rather if someone were to walk in i'd panic because it's 7:45 AM & i'm not expecting anyone. so it'd be a robber & i'd be all like, "damn...well this is awkward."

but i digress. i'm typing furiously because it's currently quiet. all 3 children are sleeping & i probably have all of 3.5 minutes to myself. & i already spent 30 seconds of that peeing & simultaneously brushing my teeth (sorry for the visual) so i'm playing a dangerous game with time right now...

(& just like that, i can hear one of my offspring downstairs. she's awake & talking to herself. but soon she'll do her best to wake up her sister & then they'll both start calling my name (literally- sometimes they yell, "HEY TRINA!!! COME HERE!" like, excuse me child? it's mom to you suckers.) so yeah. & now i've wasted 2 minutes of my remaining time talking about how i have no time. I FAIL AT TIME!)

but yes. LIFE! life is good. it's hectic & we stay home a lot (because taking 3 children out in public is daunting people. & terrifying. & just a sad affair most times.) but oh my, i love it. my children. 3 of them. all mine. my responsibility. my creations. mine mine mine. (ok, technically they're God's- but He's been nice enough to loan them to me for the next 50+ years so i'm going "mine" for the time being)

everyday is a challenge.

alex is ever so much the almost 4 year old terror that i've read about in parenting magazines. side eyes & "NO!"'s & yelling & defiance & straight up...just no words, you know?

& brynn is 2.5 ALL.THE.WAY. "NO!" is her favorite word. she hits when she's pissed (which is a good 90% of the time). she refuses to give up her paci & refuses to entertain the thought of 100% potty training. she thinks she's still small enough to launch herself into my midsection for a hug, while i'm holding her brother. it makes for 2 crying children & a gasping for breath mom.

& cohen is 5 weeks old. he's pretty chill but he's not a fan of being "ignored". he'll fall asleep, i'll put him down & BAM. "hello mother. i'm awake & i demand that you pick me up this instant. thank you very much." well ok then. i wear him when i can, but it's really not always an option. plus, the kid is a furnace & one he's strapped in we're both soaking wet within 5 minutes. so there's that.

but. but. BUT. it's awesome. sometimes alex will come over & touch my arm & smile at me. & sometimes brynn will sneak up from behind & bear hug my neck. & cohen smiles. little gassy smiles but smiles none the less. & sometimes the girls play together & instead of screams, i hear giggles. & then they give each other a hug & hold hands. & then brynn will come over & ask to hold cohen. & i'll let her & she'll give him a kiss & then say, "ok. i'm done. take him."
& we do "picnic" lunches inside (in front of the tv because Dora is a lifesaver) & we're all chillin' on the floor & it's just perfect.

so while i still spend a good portion of my day reiterating the same rules & yelling (yeah, i still do that) & cleaning up poop & pee & putting littles in time outs & kissing boo-boos & hugging it out & doing laundry & cleaning & trying to figure out dinner & cleaning up cat puke (OMG CAT!) & telling the dogs to shut up & acting as a referee & walking around in a milk & spit up stained tank top & ALL OF THE THINGS LIKE THAT - it's still awesome. & when i climb into bed at night, exhausted & holding my breath that the little boy next to me will stay asleep for a few hours, i am SO thankful.
for my husband. my children. my family. my home. my life. our health. my faith. food on the table. clothes on our backs. everything.

so yeah. that's life right now.

we're also gearing up for fall. alex starts Pre-K in a month & i'll be back to "work" taking people's pictures (hopefully). we have birthdays & anniversaries coming up. doctor's appointments & last minute shopping.
the weather is already getting cooler & i'm reminded that fall is literally, right around the corner. time is flying.

speaking of time, i think it's been 10 minutes. & it's still semi-quiet. this might be a record. this kid is grunting though:

so i'd better wrap it up with some instagram pics of our life these past few weeks (via @lookatthebirds)

aaaand the smallest one is awake. ciao.

oh baby. no baby.

no baby yet. 39 weeks & 3 days today & he's still kickin' it on the inside. & i can't complain. i'm so very thankful for a healthy, easy, stress free pregnancy. while my body may take it's sweet time getting pregnant, once it does it easy like sunday morning.

yes, i have heartburn & my crotch aches. i have random leg cramps & sometimes the sudden need to pee takes my breath away & makes me cross my legs- but all in all- i'm A-Ok & so is he.

my due date is 07.07. which is also our 6 year anniversary. so let's see if baby boy follows in his oldest sister's footsteps & keeps on keepin' on until waaay past his "expected" arrival date, or if he pulls a brynn & comes right on time.

as for life- i'm 2 days into my 3rd week as a full time stay at home mom. i'm still sane & i'm pretty sure the girls are as well.

i'll be honest, it's incredibly challenging a good 65% of the time. i wrack my brain for "things" to do, lunch to make, discipline to dole out & i'm in a constant battle of breaking up fights, trying to stem my yelling & fighting my intense desire to just turn on the tv & let them veg out for 10 hours at a time.
but it's oh so fun as well. i listen to them on the monitor every morning (they share a room & it's....hilarious) & i get to hear their first "good morning!" 's & see their first smiles. we eat breakfast & i simply sit & watch them.

have you ever observed a 2.5 & 3.5 year old have a conversation?
it's fascinating.

we do crafts, go to Target, play outside, build towers with blocks, play dress up, eat snacks, take 1500 potty breaks, trek to the splash pad, pray for play dates, snuggle, read books, give hugs & kisses, etc etc etc.

i also toss in laundry, bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning, litter box changing, dog dealings, & other not so "fun" things.

lunch happens, naps (only for brynn since alex is "not a baby" now- her words), afternoon movie, snacks, baths & then dinner. daddy gets home & i become chopped liver. it's the circle of life.

i'm tucking away these last days before baby boy gets here. while it's still just us girls. they're SO excited for him to make his exit- but they're also not aware of what that means for them- so i'm praying that it goes smoothly. that he fits seamlessly into our every day life & they're just....happy.

(instagram: @lookatthebirds)

& what would make me happy? or rather, happier?

figuring out how to make money grow on trees to support the girl's clothing habit. that right, their's. it's not just my fault anymore. champagne tastes over here people.

countdown to stuff & things

clearly, i'm not aiming to win any awards for my blogging.

once a month updates, failure to check my blogger email & my lack of twittering has securely cemented my status as a somewhat flaky internet presence. hats off to those who do this as a job because, damn.

it's not that i dislike blogging- in fact, once i sit down & start typing i can find 500 million things to ramble on about. it's just the whole finding time & energy to sit down & start typing that i fail at. however i also fail at folding laundry, dusting, cleaning out my car & making dinner every night. so, nothing personal- ok?

so what's up right now?

- i spent a week in Marfa, TX at a photography workshop (3 weeks ago) & it was fantastic. i missed the girls like whoa but it was also pure euphoria not to be "responsible" for 4 days.
- i'm 36 weeks pregnant. that means in 4-5 weeks i'll be responsible for another human life. & i'll be buying stock in maxi pads....send chocolate. & some Dermoplast.
- i'm about 25% ready for said 3rd kid to arrive. you guys, i don't even have plain white onesies! i have some diapers, my boobs, random infant clothes & a (not yet installed) carseat. that's about it. i should probably get on that.
- this is my last week of work. as of friday i'll be a 100% stay at home mom. i fully suspect that i'll be a jumpy mess on monday- waiting for my phone to ring & work asking me where the hell i am. because i'm probably the only one who hasn't fully accepted that this is real. i mean, work bought me a cake & everything so clearly they're all like, "peace!" but i'm all like, "wait...what?"
- alex has been driving me crazy. literally. sometimes i just stare at her in horror. because she's my kid & i love her but i sort of want to...sell her. or something. maybe it's because she's 3.5 & there's a secret 3.5 year old club i didn't know about where they get together & plan ways & scenarios in which to make their parents think that they're the insane ones. i don't know. but that has to be it.
i mean, what other reason could there be for 24/7 tantrums, dramatic scenes at Target, random screaming over nothing, serious sass (like, makes my head spin sassy backtalk), way too much "i don't want that!" (& then 3 minutes later) "I WANT THAT!!!! OMG!!! THE WORLD IS ENDING & YOU DON'T LOVE MEEEEE!!!" & etc etc etc. it's mind boggling & i'm at a loss most of the time.
- thankfully brynn is still somewhat not as awful. i mean, she can pitch a fit worthy of an Oscar & she completely ignores me when i say "No. Stop. OMG YOU'RE GOING TO MAIM YOURSELF IF YOU JUMP OFF THAT TABLE!" but, i still have some control.
- we got a cool letter from the IRS that went something like, "hey! we like dicking with you so guess what? you owe us $2k from 2011! yay! isn't that super awesome, cool & fun? we think so too! so feel free to write a big fat check & send it our way before next month. ::thumbs up::"
needless to say, no. just no. so i hauled my huge self over to the IRS office today to sort it out. part of it we legit owe (& we knew that because we neglected to file a W-2) so we're down with sending that part to Uncle Sam- but the other part was because our lovely accountant neglected to file a form that let's the government know that we're using our HSA dollas for actual medical expenses. because i guess if you don't do that they think you spent $3k on a trip to Cabo. umbrella drinks in the house.
so thankfully i simply have to fill out a form & mail it in. but still. sitting in the IRS office is awkward. because there is no privacy & i'm totally aware that the lady in front of me owes over $25k in back taxes. dear God.
- i think that sums it up.

life is pretty much the norm. waiting for a baby. planning on a trip to the zoo for Father's Day. cleaning all the things! hugs & kisses from toddlers. ice eating. (like, insane amounts of ice eating because my low iron has induced pregnancy pica like mad & eating ice appeals to me more than...anything. even Ryan Gossling.) trips to the park & splash pad. summer temps. trying to temper my online shopping (because, hi, i don't have a $ paying job anymores). Target. Starbucks. getting pigs (yes, real pigs). & all that jazz.

& instagram (@lookatthebirds) still gets way more action than my "real" camera. but i'm ok with that right now.

& so on & so forth.