long overdue updates

i'm such a slacker- i haven't updated in forever- so here are some recent pics:

bumbo time!

sleeping with daddy time...

pretty dress time!

SMILE TIME!!!


so- alex is almost 7 weeks and it's AMAZING how much she's grown! she smiles & "talks" (you know, those baby babbls & such) she pushes herself up and looks around- it's awesome!

she has her 2 month appt on the 24th and i'm curious to see how much she weighs- she's freaking huge! her 0-3 month clothes are getting a bit tight and short.

she's doing awesome too- she takes a few naps during the day but she's awake alot more- then she goes down around 9:30-10pm and sleeps till 4-4:30am (which is PERFECT for when i go back to work) so i'm pleased.

she eats ALOT and i've been trying to chill out my milk supply because it's just to much (i hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass) she also poops alot (like through her diaper & onto my lap this morning) and pees & spits up & all that adorable stuff.

we give her a bath every other day or so, which she loves, but then we have to lotion her up, which she LOATHES! literally, she'll scream like a banchee so i try to make it as quick as i can. sheesh.

aaanyway- so all is well in her world.

as for my world- i spent 2 hours in a dentist chair last week for 1 of my crowns- and tomorrow i get to go back for another hour to have her replace a filling. and then i'm sure i'll have to schedule a few more appts so she can go to town on whatever else she wants to do- super. anyone who knows me knows that i freaking HATE going to the dentist. i could care less about the 6 inch needle in my mouth- it's the sitting there in the chair with my mouth open & my lips chapping. suuuuck.

anyway, then i had my 6 week pp checkup last week (down to 135- woot!)- all is well & healed & she gave me the green light for "whatever"- ie: maritals, but i have yet to take the plunge. maybe this weekend- who knows. we're always so exhausted that we literally fall asleep as soon as we hit the sheets. so who knows.

hmmm- ah yes, i got my last maternity leave check & so until Jan i have NO MONEY! yiiikes- i mean, i have plastic- but no cash. looks like the husband will be "lending" me some moola because mommy is poor. right in time for birthdays & Christmas- not so great. but alas. i'll live....off of him. HA! sucker.

and that's that. since the princess is sleeping i should take this opportunity to pump, do laundry & figure out dinner....instead i'm going to watch something about the Giant Sloth (because sloths are my all time FAVORITE animal- seriously. so freaking cute)

ttfn.

it's everywhere- like a disease

i found out last week that 2 women i work with are pregnant. one, has an almost 2 year old & the other has a 15 year old. the latter also still smokes, drinks, lives on coffee, eats like crap & etc etc. no fair. at all.

then this morning i had to get my teeth cleaned- well i got there early & waited in the parking lot for the office to open, so i get to watch everyone walk in. lo & behold, my usual hygenist drives in, gets out & is quite obviously pregnant. i hate the dentist as it is, but this just put me over the top. thankfully, one of the other hygenists cleaned my teeth this morning. one of the obviously not pregnant ones. i mean, she's older & has kids, but at least she's not knocked up right now.

and then i get to work & the annoying girl who just got back from maternity leave, is talking to my other cw (who has a 16 month old) about all things baby- and how her friends are KU & how she went shopping for baby stuff this weekend & how much she loves babies and baby things & being a mother. and where are they having this conversations? why, right behind my desk of course! could there be a more appropriate place? nooo, of course not.

and lastly, a few of the nest ladies all found out that they were pregnant this past week/end. some of these BFP's resulted from an FET or IVF or a very natural cycle. while i'm happy for each of them, i still kills me. it doesn't matter that they may or may not have struggled as much as i have, it's still hard to digest the news & i'm insanely jealous. anyone who is still struggling to get pregnant and says that it's not hard, or that they're not envious as well, is a liar. just because you're happy for someone doesn't make you immune to anger or jealousy. i hate that this is what i've become but i don't know what to do. i pray that God will take these feeling away and i try & focus on everything that i do have- but it doesn't help. there is always a reminder of the one thing that we want that we cannot have.

birthday cake

i made a birthday cake for one of my co-workers: it tasted wonderful! i was quite pleased:



it was a 2 layer white cake with cream cheese frosting & strawberry puree- fabulous!

in other news: i went to the dentist today- ugh! after the dental hygenist ravanged my mouth with her tools of torture the dentist came in and did her "tsk tsking" ha- i've needed a crown for awhile but my insurance keeps being lame & "losing" my pre-auth- whatever- i have to go in & have the cavity filled tomorrow and when the crown comes in they'll put it on. so tomorrow morning will be sucky but the good news is no new cavities! that's a full year with nothing new, i'm quite proud of myself! i guess that $15 toothpaste is paying off. blah blah blah. at least there's a new south park on tonight- that will keep me happy for therest of the week.

also i 'm looking over all my IVF info & instructions. all i can say is WOW- i feel so overwhelmed! i'm very thankful that this option is available to us so i don't feel right "complaining" about all the steps- but i am worried that i'll do something wrong! i'll just have to trust that God wants me to be a mommy as much as i want to be one & He'll make sure i do everything right! i don't want to tell anyone about it yet- but i also want my family to be praying- so i'm a little mixed on what i want to do. my mother prays for me all the time anyway so i think that should cover it! go mom!

weeeeell- that's it for now. God Bless!