a day of first & lasts

Firsts:
at 4:20pm i will experience my first internal exam. needless to say, i am not looking forward to it. in fact, i'm still trying to figure out how my OB's hand is going to fit inside of, what i consider, a rather small opening. dear God.

regardless of everything i've been through to get to here- i am still not a fan of having my privates violated by the men & women OB's & RE's of the New England area- just sayin.

i blame this all on my child for being late- seriously.

Lasts:
today will be my last day of work- whoa now! i said i'd work up until i delivered, and i've tried. the problem is that since Alex doesn't see the need for punctuality, i am forced to make a decision to make the lives of my co-workers easier. why should they have to wait & wonder what day i'm not coming in? why should my unfinished work have to be pawned off on them? it's easier if i just pick a day, make it my last & go. so that day is today.

they're going to "take her by force" at some point next week anyway- so i figure this is close enough.
everyone is very sad, of course, because i'm pretty awesome (for realz) but i shall return & they are aware of this.

Realization:
i still don't have a diaper bag. damn me & my indecisiveness. i want something modern, adorable (but not too adorable), green (but not too much green) , big (but more like medium)- etc etc etc. how can one person make such a decision?!

oh, and if one more person says "No baby yet?!" i might snap. seriously- i never realized how annoying those 3 words could be. i SWEAR to never ask a pregnant lady that question. for real.