7weeks 0days and 1st u/s

ok! so today was full of good news! we have 1 aaawesome heartbeat! it was so neat to see it flickering away! the baby measured at exactely 7weeks 0days which is great! the gestational sac was at 6weeks 2days which is also great- lastly the yolk sac measured at 2.3 which is good. they like to see it between 2.5 & 5.5 but she said 2.3 is very close. i have a f/u u/s with my OB in 2 weeks to make sure everything is still growing!
here is the yolk sac (little circle) & the baby (little blob)!!

here is a closer up of the baby...

and here is the heartbeat (wave lengths)! it was beating at a health 142 bpm!! woot!

and here is my first "belly" pic @ 7weeks. i think my bloat has gone down some...

i was looking a little "plumper" last week but things have settled. i can still button my pants & such, but i did purchase a Bella Band today & when i tried it on it was super!!! i got it in white- i'll have to get one in black too...hmmm.
(please excuse me looking like crap & the messy floor- i'm beyond tired & cessna had a field day ripping things up- argh)

ok- that's it! i am so overjoyed & thankful for this precious gift. it's a little surreal & it doesn't totally feel real yet- but i'm sooo happy! so is the husband! but he's a little pissy because i can talk about this to my lovely internet girls & he can't tell anyone. but we agreed on this so poo to him!

6 weeks 6 days

i was doing so well! trying not to worry-and etc etc. i also haven't had any spotting for the past couple weeks.

well alas- last night @ 9:30pm when i went to "check" i saw some brown spotting. there was only a little more when i wiped- and then i went to bed.
well my p4 had plenty of time to do it's leaking overnight so when i got up @ 2:30am to pee- the lovely mess was waiting for me & it was a little brown- but not bad.

there was a bit more this morning @ 5am (ish)- and one time when i wiped it looked like brown EWCM & almost like that brown "discharge" you get at the very begining or end of your period- but since then it's been barely enough for me to wipe & see.

i'm not cramping any more than usual- i've pretty much accepted the constant cramps & twinges & also the somewhat painful cramps that go along with the p4- but i don't have bad cramps & then spotting or anything.

meh- i'm hoping it's fine, and even if it's not, there's nothing i can do. my 1st u/s is tomorrow @ 10:30am so we'll see what happens then.

i've been reassured many times by everyone that reads my blog, so this entry is more for my records than anything!

what a sad way to start friday

i NEVER buy breakfast in the morning- i always eat my trusty pop-tarts & have a glass of water. it's how i roll.

but this morning i really wanted an iced chai tea latte from Panera. really bad! so i stopped & bought one (also a cinnamon roll)- so i get to work and i'm juggling everything & pushing the elevator button- just as i'm re-adjusting my bag....BAM! there goes my chai. i watch it slip right out of my arm & lose it's battle with gravity. gravity & the lobby's marble floor are bff's- i just know it.

i was in shock- i wanted to cry. i mean, i really wanted that chai. argh! so i brought my crap upstairs- put the coffee on for all the other office peeps- trudged down to the lobby & cleaned up the mess the best i could- i think i used an entire tree worth of napkins & paper towels.

then i went back upstairs to mope- but then i stopped and decided...NO! i will NOT mope! i WILL have my chai! so i grabbed my coat & bag & drove BACK to Panera & orderd another one. it was the same girl behind the counter & i know she recognized me- but she preteneded not to- bless her heart.

then i drove back to work (FIRMLY clutching my chai) and breathed a sigh of relief once it was safetly deposited onto my desk. then i drank it (and ate the cinn. roll) and it was perfect.

so yes- i spent about $7 on chai this morning- but i don't regret it.
my only regret is trying to juggle a plastic Panera cup whilst wearing mittens- dumb idea.

18dp5dt beta#3

xp from thenest:

beta#1= 107 on 01/07 (p4= 20)- 4weeks1day (10dp5dt)
beta#2= 274 on 01/09 (p4= 26)- 4weeks3days (12dp5dt)
beta#3= 4,020 on 01/15 (p4= 28.6)- 5weeks2days (18dp5dt)
1st US= 01/27 @ 10:30a.m.- 7weeks0days

the nurse said my #'s were good- they have sufficiently more than doubled. she also said my p4 was good- but personally, i'd like to see it higher- but oh well. i'll continue on my Endometrim tablets 2x a day.

i was hoping my 1st us would be next week- but i guess i'll have to suck it up & wait. booo.
but yeah- do those #'s look good??? i'm very thankful for the doubling- but i think i have this mindset that my HCG should be this ginormous # by now- meh.

my husband asked when he could be excited- first i told him after the 2nd beta- then i told him after the 3rd beta- now i want to tell him after the 1st us- i'm such a liar. :)

17dp5dt & peek-tures

first things first: since beta#3 is on the morrow- i decided to POAS when i got home. cool? yes.

so i did it- still pregnant and the test line came up RIGHT AWAY & WAY before the control line and as you can see- it's way darker. that has to mean something, right?
*i know it really means nothing, but still. anywho- superness.


next: LMAO at cessna's "ponytail"- she looks foolish & i love it. weepy eyes & all.
*she hated this- she was rather irked with me

lastly- check out the VERY late christmas present that FINALLY came in for the husband.

he is obsessed with black & green & it's nearly impossible to find b&g shoes that he A. likes or B. fit him. so i went to www.kswiss.com and custom designed some for him. it was loads of fun & worth every cent.

when he walks in the door tonight...BAM! he's gonna be ticked pink!

*woot!!!

and VERY lastly- i'm either getting a UTI or the p4 supps are bothering me- i really can't decide which i think it is- if i still feel "bothered" tomorrow, i guess i'll call the PCP & have them do a dip stick test. better safe than sorry.

puppy pics with the new camera

aren't they adorable?!
i'm trying to figure out how to make pictures look "professional"
am i going to have to buy photoshop?! yikes- that's like 1k!!!

15dp5dt

so- i was pretty stoked because my spotting & cramping had pretty much gone away by thursday or so- it was very comforting. then, of course, i cramped up allll day yesterday & the spotting resumed (verrrry lightly) but still there. also this morning- more spotting (brown)- ugh.

i know that cramping & spotting can be normal- but it's still nerve wracking!! i don't feel pregnant at all (m/s, sore boobs or anything like that)- i mean, i'm crampy, gassy, hungry, tired, a little bloated but that's all my usual period like symptoms as well- so no reassurance there. there is also the p4 to take into account- it can give you all of those symptoms- which is worries me because i feel like the p4 is just "holding" everything up there, you know?

i was trying very hard to be postive & start planning ahead, but it's a constant struggle.
also- we were sitting on the couch yesterday & out of the blue the husband says:
"thursday is so far away!"
and he's RIGHT! i can't even believe i have to wait that long for #'s- ugh. it's cruel.

but yeah- i just wanted to update. i'm thankful for all the reassurance i've had from everyone up until this point- it definately helps! but still- i think it's natural to worry, worry, worry!

i don't know why we can't just be pregnant & be done with it. why must this be so hard!?

ok- i should work. 4 days of work until i get my results- GOSH!

12dp5dt- Beta #2

xp from thenest:
beta = 274
progesterone= 26

ok- so i know that doubled, but i can't lie- i was hoping for some huge ass # to calm my fears. all my googling brings up women with much higher #'s so it's a bit disheartening- but i'm trying to be positive & thankful- i swear!!!

my spotting is pretty much non- existant (yay) but i am still crampy (boo) but not as much (yay)- ok.

my next beta isn't until the 15th! i can't wait that long!! seriously- can i get it drawn elsewhere? i'm going to go crazy if i have to wait till next thurs...argh
anywho- thank you ladies for everything- i shall keep you updated.

last night

8:00pm on the couch:
husband: i've really wanted to have sex with you for like the past 2 weeks
me: oh- well, sorry.
husband: yeah well- it's probably because i find you more attractive than you find me
me: um- ok- or it's because i've had an insane amount of activity going on down there and you & i copulating is the last thing on my mind
husband: ok- i know- i just wanted to let you know.
me: good to know- but it's not gonna happen for awhile

10:30pm in the bed:
husband: (starts in with the "please have sex with me moves" which include grabbing my ass & my boobs)
me: (ignores him- hoping he gets the message)
husband: (becomes more persistant)
me: um- i'm not trying to be mean, but you know i'm not allowed to have sex with you
husband: (explodes) argh- whatever- the directions didn't say no sex for like 5 weeks
me: um- i had sex with you two weeks ago so stfu, and also, the directions DO say no sex & i'm not risking it because you're too lazy to jack it (ok- the last line i just thought- did not say)
husband: (silent- because he knows i'm right)
me: (i'm so right- turns around & gets comfortable)
husband: (feels bad so he places his hand on my thigh & falls asleep) good boy

gosh- how annoying. he knows that rules- just stop it already- i'm not punishing you so stop pouting. damn- i don't want your penis! back off!

the end.

beta is in...

xp from thenest:

ok!
beta= 107 @ 10dp5dt
progesterone= 20
according to the nurse these are great numbers- but i'm worried sick because i'm still spotting/bleeding red. not bright red- a dullish red- i don't know. i'm pretty crampy too- so yeah.
i have to go back in on friday so i guess we'll see what happens. until then i keep taking my p4 supps 2x a day & pray...alot!
thank you ladies for all your well wishes & prayers, seriously- it makes my day to know that there are a bunch of ladies out there pulling for me!!!
oh- and if anyone wants to reassure me with stories of bleeding & cramps that = a wonderfully healthy pregnancy- i'm all for it!! :)

10dp5dt- Beta day!

so i made my way through the sleet & snow to the lab this morning & the lovely labotomist (or whatever) took my blood & sent me on my way with good luck wishes.

so now i wait...in agony.

i'm still spotting (brown) but i had some red yesterday that worried me- but i took another test @ 5:30ish in the p.m. with very dilluted urine & it was even darker than yesterday morning's- sooo yeah. i know that doesn't really mean much- but still.

ugh- i'm going to make myself sick with all this impatience. yar!

thank you for all you prayers, good luck wishes & etc!!! they mean the world.

9dp5dt

JAn 6th- 9dp5dt- 5:05am- it's even darker!!! squee!!! i hope i'm not setting myself up for dissapointment! i told the husband last night & he was happy- but he's as wary as i am. 1 more day!!!

8dp5dt OMFG!!!!!!

*UPDATE*- nurse called back- she simply told me to continue with my progesterone 2x a day & come in on wed- booo! i want a test NOW! but i'll be patient...argh!!!

ok- so i did a couple things that i thought i would never have/be able to do:



1. i cried in the shower last night & asked God why? i try to never question Him- i have no right- but i was just so upset. then i apologized & listed all the things i am thankful for.

2. i got up this morning- still spotting- went to work a whole 5 hours early (i'm working the late shift & i forgot- grrr) so i came home & POAS just to make sure that i wasn't KU.

3. i left the pee stick on the counter- went & took my pants off & wandered back in- saw the BFP & started sobbing & praying. i literally SHOVED a progesterone tablet inside of me & begged God to let this one stick.

4. i ran to the trash & dug through it, looking for Sat's pee stick (i know, so gross)- i found it & stared at it- the "BFN" that i saw on sat was now a BFP!!!

5. i called my nurses & asked them to PLEASE call me back!!!

6. i took all these pictures & i'm putting them here for all of you too look @ and reassure me & tell me that everything is going to be fine!!!!



the above was dug out of the trash this morning!!!!

the above was taken this morning!!!!

ok so now i'm worried!!! why was i bleeding yesterday? it wouldn't be implantation bleeding would it? because i got a positive...? i don't know!!! or could it be???

and my test this morning is darker- but is it dark enough? and i'm still spotting (brown)- & i kind of have craps on my left side- i don't know though. God- those nurses better call me back soon- you think they'd let me get a beta drawn today?!!!

the most concerning thing is the cramps on my left side- i hope this isn't another ectopic- also my cramps in general- i feel like my period is coming RIGHT NOW!!! ugh!!!

7dp5dt

*UPDATE* yeah- red bleeeeding. lovely.
_____________________________________________________________
pink "spotting" at 7dp5dt

basically i woke up- took my temp- it beeped way too quickly & gave me a temp of 97.93 (which sucks)- so i took it again immediately & got a temp of 98.20 (which is much better)

i logged that temp- went to the bathroom & took a look @ the progesterone mess in my underwear & noticed that it was pink....ugh. i peed- wiped & more pink (not brown or red- pink) i flushed & had myself a good cry & a half because my life is obviously over- right? ha.

anyway- after contemplating my spotting & cramps, i made myself insert another progesterone tablet even though i just want to quit right now. i googled the crap out of pink spotting @ 7dp5dt & got a little hope...but still.

i also got a BFN yesterday at 6dp5dt but i googled that too & got some hope then- but i also wasn't spotting yesterday- so whatevs.

i want to say thank you to everyone who continues to read this & give me encouragement. it means alot. i'd like to end this love-fest with a fabulous BFP but...we'll see.

4dp5dt

happy new year! i fell asleep around 11:30ish- so i didn't get to "ring it in" but still- i'm glad 2009 is here!

hmmm- onto me: i've had AF like cramps for the past 3 days or so- so i don't know what to think. i'm not spotting yet- so that's good- but the cramps are keeping me grounded. i have no idea what's going on in my uterus right now.

i don't have any symptoms either- boobs are fine- i feel fine- etc etc. so yeah- i'm praying that this works because if it doesn't i'm going to be pretty pissed- but the husband is going to feel even worse. he's REALLY hopeful about this one. yikes.

so yeah: cramps at 4dp5dt- that's all i have to report!