chocolate chip banana bread

i made choc. chip banana bread yesterday- it's wicked good- i'm too lazy to post pictures though.
in other news: so my FP didn't start yesterday- it's just toying with me. the one time i want it to start, it takes it's sweet ass time. FP!

it had better start by tomorrow at the latest!
God Bless

good times ahead

well- i can honestly say i had high hopes for this cycle- i had weird cramps & my nipples hurt & i was tired, hungry, thirsty & peeing alot more than usual- but alas! my FP showed up bright & early this morning so BCP start on monday. it's going to be weird to have to take BC again- but at least it's only for 3 weeks- then i get to start injecting myself ::shudder:: i'm not looking forward to it but if it helps get us pregnant then i am willing to do just about anything- Lord, give me strength!

anyway- we just booked our 1st anniversary get away- well be going up north to: http://www.magriverinn.com/index.html
it's a pet friendly cabin in the woods of Northern NH right on the river & lakes of Umbagog & we'll spend July 3rd- 7th fishing, reding, playing wih Max & just getting away from everything. i can't wait!

well i'm off to enjoy my lazy saturday. ciao.
God Bless

birthday cake

i made a birthday cake for one of my co-workers: it tasted wonderful! i was quite pleased:



it was a 2 layer white cake with cream cheese frosting & strawberry puree- fabulous!

in other news: i went to the dentist today- ugh! after the dental hygenist ravanged my mouth with her tools of torture the dentist came in and did her "tsk tsking" ha- i've needed a crown for awhile but my insurance keeps being lame & "losing" my pre-auth- whatever- i have to go in & have the cavity filled tomorrow and when the crown comes in they'll put it on. so tomorrow morning will be sucky but the good news is no new cavities! that's a full year with nothing new, i'm quite proud of myself! i guess that $15 toothpaste is paying off. blah blah blah. at least there's a new south park on tonight- that will keep me happy for therest of the week.

also i 'm looking over all my IVF info & instructions. all i can say is WOW- i feel so overwhelmed! i'm very thankful that this option is available to us so i don't feel right "complaining" about all the steps- but i am worried that i'll do something wrong! i'll just have to trust that God wants me to be a mommy as much as i want to be one & He'll make sure i do everything right! i don't want to tell anyone about it yet- but i also want my family to be praying- so i'm a little mixed on what i want to do. my mother prays for me all the time anyway so i think that should cover it! go mom!

weeeeell- that's it for now. God Bless!

oh my God

i'm lazy so XP from the Nest:

well- we sat down w/the RE thinking that we would be getting some great news...not so much. basically my husband's 2nd SA was even worse then the first- the only thing that got better was his count- up from 20 mill to 40mill- but everything else got worse- we're talking low motil, morph, progression- etc. basically less than 2% on things that should be 4-5% & above. so yeah- to put it lightly- his sperm=FAIL! ha. poor hubbythen it was my turn- all my blood tests came back fine but my HSG results weren't too great- here i was thinking my tubes were all clear & open- nope. he thinks they are both blocked with scar tissue (from what, i have no idea) the right one might have a little bit of an opening- but that's about it. so my tubes=FAIL! wow- we're quite a pair here!ok so here's the kicker- he had to give us our "options" and those were:1. do a LAP (to see if we can figure out my tubes)2. do IUI3. IVFhowever, he's not a big fan of LAPs because there is no guarantee & he thinks it's a lot of wasted time & energy. ok cool, i can deal- i don't want one anyway. so we asked about IUI- well, we=not good candidates. another FAIL. his sperm, my tubes=slim chance of sucess. sooo, our only real "option" is IVF. he said our chances of sucess are 50% (which i guess is good) and he wants us to go with that. we asked him straight out what he thinks we should do and without blinking he said "IVF- no doubt" is we wanted to try IUI he said he'd understand but he doesn't think we should waste our time. basically the chances of us getting pregnant on our own or with IUI are "slim to none" (he almost winced when he was saying this- ha- he's such a cute little man)so after looking at each other, even being a little in shock, we said "ok". so he pulled out all the paperwork & had us get to work on filling that out. then he sent us to his nurse & she gave me all the info for the drugs & etc etc. it was like a blur- she showed me how to use the gonel f (right?) pen and asked if i wanted to take my progesterone via a shot in the butt or those little pills you take vaginally- i went with the pills because there is no way my husband is sticking me with needles in my_ass. so yeah- whew- OMG! we're doing IVF- it's surreal & a little heartbreaking because we can't do this on our own- but at the same time i'm happy that we're on our way. so now i just wait for FP to start & then i start taking my BC pills- after that i get started with all the shots & pills & ER & ET & i don't even know. well sorry this was so long- if you're still with me then thanks for reading- i'm suprised that i'm not more upset about this- i'm more excited because i think we actually have a chance now, you know? my husband is a little bummed but he said he would do whatever i want & i know he just wants a baby- or two (hehe!)ahh well- i guess that's it. OMG! i never saw myself here- ever.

whew- i feel very thankful & very blessed to even have the opportunity to go forward with this- God has definately opened this door when the last one slammed shut. thank you so much Lord!

all in a day's work

1. i made gary take cute picture with mommy

2.i learned how to load our new gun (robbers beware!!!)

3. i got my new coach wallet (25% off- woo hoo)

4. i made snickerdoodles:

5. still no +opk- booooo (no pic of this dissapointment)

and that's about it! happy Sunday!

God Bless!

soooo today

so, i'm due to ovulate soon i have yet to get a +opk- i'm a little worried because i had my HSG this month & i keep thinking that we may have a really good shot- but if i miss my O or i don't O...yikes! i'll test again tomorrow & i PRAY it's a +.
in other news: we bought a gun today- yep! it's a Ruger 9mm semi-automatic. my husband wants it for protection & i'm cool with that. i was raised with guns & i've fired them before so i feel very comfortable with it in the house. we spent that day with his parents & him & his dad took it apart & put it back together & did "guy gun things" i don't know. i hung out with his mom & complained about how bored i was- ha!

yeah- so that's about it- nothing new- blah blah blah. i'm gonna go think about what to buy with my 25% off coupon @ Coach tomorrow (thanks to a wonderful nest lady) - wooo! i also have a 25% off coupon for Linens-n-Things too- so yeah- good times!
God Bless!

grown up brownies

Chocolate Mascarpone Brownies

BROWNIES:
1 cup unsalted butter
3 ounces best-quality semi-sweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup granulated sugar
½ cup cocoa powder
½ cup mascarpone cheese, softened
3 large eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
½ cup all-purpose flour
¼ tsp Salt



GANACHE:
6 ounces best-quality semi-sweet chocolate, finely
chopped
6 Tbs whipping cream
3 Tbs unsalted butter

Preheat oven to 325°F. Butter an 8-inch square pyrex pan.
Place chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl; set aside. In a small glass bowl, melt butter in microwave (take it out before it starts bubbling.) Pour butter over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Sift in sugar and cocoa powder.
With a wooden spoon, beat in mascarpone, eggs and vanilla, mixing until smooth. Gently fold in flour and salt.
Pour batter into prepared pan and spread evenly. Place into preheated oven and bake 45 to 50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean.
Place pan on cooling rack and let brownies cool 10 to 15 minutes while you make the ganache.
Place chopped chocolate in a mixing bowl. In a small saucepan, bring the cream and butter to just below boiling point, over medium heat. Pour this hot mixture over the chocolate and let stand for 30 seconds, then stir until smooth. Pour ganache over brownies while still warm, and spread to cover evenly.
Let ganache firm up before cutting. It's best to refrigerate them until quite firm. Once the ganache is firm and the brownies have been cut, they do not need to be kept in the refrigerator.

Yield: About 16 brownies

i found this recipe on recipegirl.com- it is AMAZING! i made two pans & brought one to dinner at my parent's in law's house & the whole pan was almost gone. it's very rich & fudgy & awesome. good times.

God bless

hsg today

so i had my HSG & more bloodwork done today. um- OUCH! yeah- it's a little painful but not unbearable- things look pretty good but my left tube was a little "iffy" i think the dr. got it all cleaned out though- so i'm happy- the nurse also called me with my Prolactin levels (which were high last time) and they're fine now- so yay!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8886608@N06/sets/72157604068929641/

click the above link to see pics! (weird- i know!)

ummm- that's about it. brandon had his second SA on Wed & now were all tested up & just waiting for our follow up on the 18th- so until then, we wait.

God bless!!!!

one step closer?

well- i'm officially over my flu- i've got a little bit of a sore throat & i'm still tired but i'm pretty much good to go. soooo, that's great. in other news:

i had my cd3 bloodwork & internal ultrasound at 6:30 this morning (ugh). it went quickly & it was neat to see my empty uterus, my lining, my ovaries & various follicles. i also got to see my bladder- heh. i had 5 follicles on one side & 7 on the other. she said everything looked great. then i had my bw done & the nurse called me back with the results this afternoon- everything is perfect except for my Prolactin- it's at 41 & they like it below 20- eek! so they're going to re-test it this friday when i go in for my HSG- another eek! hopefully it'll go down- also brandon has SA #2 on wed- however- he hasn't ejaculated in over a week (not that i know of anyways) & he's not supposed to for at least 72 hours before his SA- so even if we do the deed tonight i think thats pushing it to close so i'm going to have him call & re-schedule it for Thurs. morning instead. then i'll feel better about the timing. yeeeah.

so yeah- if all goes well, we should have all of our results by this friday & i should be able to schedule another appt with the RE for next week. i'm pretty excited!!!! i hope this is our month because this is our last chance for a 2008 baby- time is flying!!! ahhh well. we shall see.

God Bless

shit

1. i've had the flu since monday.
2. i'm starting my period today or tomorrow.
3. it's snowing, again.
4. i had to get b-day presents for our friend's 2 & 4 year olds yesterday & then go drop them off & see her in all of her "pregnant w/my unwanted 3rd child" glory.
5. my annoying co-worker was walking around in all of her pregnant glory as well yesterday.
6. brandon came home last night & informed me that this REALLY annoying girl we know is 2 months pregnant.
7. i get to look forward to blood work & an HSG in the next 2 weeks.
8. this is so unfair.
9. oh yeah, i'm on call for work this week/end. i hate it.
10. cycle 12. ::cries::