Merry Christmas

And the angel said unto them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men." Luke 2:10-14

well...shit

On monday night i arrived home & stepped out of the car & heard the sound of rushing water. i was a bit puzzled- mainly because although we do live near some lovely swamps & streams, neither of those = rushing.

so i unlocked the door & went inside- up the stairs- turned on the lights. hmm? checked the bathroom- nothing on. went outside & checked the hoses- closed up tight. weird.
walked downstairs, flipped the light & started freaking out.

water. everywhere. like- a lot. & still rushing?! wtf?!?! i ran back upstairs (let me mention that alex was upstairs flipping the flip out over God knows what) threw on my boots & sloshed downstairs. i checked every plug & drain & EVERYTHING but had no idea what was going on.

when i peeked into alex's room my heart literally sank. lots of water. & the rushing sound was coming from her wall. well damn- how the hell..?!

burst pipe? yes. but shit- what to do?
i canlled the husband IN A PANIC & told him to GET HOME NOW! THE HOUSE IS FLOODING! IT'S GOING TO FLOAT AWAY! IT'S LIKE "UP" BUT NOT NEARLY AS CUTE & ADORABLE & PLANNED OUT!!!!

then i cried. because hello, there was a lot of water in my house & i'm not a mermaid.

then i got brynn & alex settled down (they were both flipping out now- go figure) & waited for the husband.

he got home. went downstairs & looked equally as puzzled. & then- DING DING DING! he figured out that he had to turn some random valve off & the rushing sound stopped. hooray.
but now there is this lake in our basement that we need to deal with.

what to do? call dad? yep. i mean, come on. we're 32 & 27 respectivly & we still call our parents when shit goes wrong.

so off he goes to pick up a Shop Vac & our extra Pack&Play from his parents. he takes alex- thank God because brynn was being a...doll.
so i put her to bed & slosh around in the basement some more. i pick up all the wet things (rugs, blankets, stuffed animals) & throw them in the wash.
I roll out a tarp outside & start hauling up toys to dry.

the husband returns. i set alex up in our room & kiss her goodnight.
he gets stared sucking 60+ gallons of water out of our abode.

i make grilled cheese & curse H2o. it's all i could do really.
blah blah blah.

to sum it up:
- the basement is fine. it's unfinished & it's cement. all of our stuff is in Rubbermaid bins- score.
- alex's room- eh. the floors will dry eventually but we're going to have to replace a wall & obviously the pipe. & by "we" i mean "he". the husband.
he's thrilled- let me tell you.

so meh. all in all it could have been way worse- but it still sucks. a lot.

BUT- the silver lining? alex has slept in our room for the past 2 nights & i must say, i love waking up & seeing her so close. plus, brynn is 5 steps away in her bedroom & i can hear both of them breathing.

it makes my heart happy & i smile wide- even though it's 2am & i should be sleeping.
plus, it's kind of an adventure to put on wellies & slosh around in your basement with your child in tow....kind of. like a shitty adventure.

ah well. it is what it is, yes? yes.
oh- & here's a little bit of what i saw monday night:



no- we don't usually have a reflective floor. not in the least.

splish splash.

picture overload

the realization that 2012 is 2 weeks away = omgmusteditanduploadallremaining2011pictures.

like right now (ie: last night). @ 9pm.

& then i was like- screw editing. just upload already. so i did- mostly. because when 10pm hits my body shuts down. it's like it just knows that i should be in bed & refuses to perform simple tasks like keeping it's eyes open or moving it's hands. stuff like that.

anyway my goal is to get all 2011 pics off my computer & backed up via flickr before Jan 1st. so that means you guys get to suffer through enjoy way too many shots of my children being children.

like these:







ok- that last one is obviously edited.

and this is hands down my favorite item in alex's closet:



it's a sweater that i snagged for 50% off @ Anthropologie last year.

i remember it well because despite contractions (that would lead to brynn being born not even 8 hours later) i was determined to scour the racks for kick ass duds for my eldest. & when i came across this sweater, which @ 50% off was still an obscene amount of money, i audibly ::squee'd::
the only con? dryclean only. seriously? who drycleans kid's clothing?

...i guess i do. because i have to pick it up from the cleaner's today. boo-ya.

let's see- here are some mom & dad with brynn shots from her birthday. the light was fading & she was fresh up from her nap but we made it happen.

brynn & dadda:



brynn & mamma:



speaking of brynn- i took the girls to the mall on saturday (alone. dumb dumb dumb.) to hit up H&M (meh. it's hit or miss sometimes.) & some lady came up, looked @ brynn & said, "Well hello there handsome! Aren't you just adorable!"

brynn was not aware that she had been mistaken for a boy & graced the woman with a smile.
& now we refer to brynn as "handsome." what can you do?

& that's as far as i got last night.
if you're dying to see more pictures, feel free to take a gander at my latest photography blog update

it's actually a shoot with our nanny & alex's bff. so much cute.
and if you're also dying to "Like" something on FB- feel free to "Like" my page: Like me!

& yes- i'm totally whoring myself out in the quest for more "Likes" & more business...guilty!
i'm weak.
..but it's Christmas, so consider it a present. a present that you don't have to pay for. hooray! free presents!

happy birthday brynn

well, as of Sat Dec 10th my baby is 1.

she does lots of toddler'esq things. like walk, throw tantrums, hit her sister, drink from a cup, talk (sort of) & etc etc. but she also still does baby'esq things. like take a bottle at night (no idea how to break her of this one) &...oh wait. that's it. damn.

well, she does like to get up & party around 4 am which i do not approve of. i try & let her cry it out- but she's one of those, "i'm going to cry until i throw up" kids & i just can't get down with that.

so i bring her to bed. & she stays up. & kicks me. & slaps me.
so i tell her to "knock it off" & put her back in her crib.
where she screams & throws a fit.
so i bring her back. & we do it all again.

this morning i finally deposited her back in the crib around 5:15 where she SHRIEKED for 5 minutes & then fell back asleep.

then my alarm went off 15 minutes later & i glared at her door as i walked by.
yeah that's right.

then 5 minutes before i had to leave she woke up in a splendid mood, bouncing around in her crib. she's a delight- let me tell you.

but seriously. we love her. she's great.

the party went swell & i'll get those pictures up soon.
but i wanted to get this blip up in case you were wondering if i'd managed to turn back time.

brynn's 1st birthday party is in 3 days

seeing that i'm not a rocket scientist, i still have not figured out a way to turn back time. so, this being the case, brynn's party will commence in 3 days.

the theme = owls.

this is only because her birthday invite had owls on it. how i plan on actually incorporating them besides the cake? no idea.

this is where you come in- yay for you!

i need party favors. owl cookies? owl...something else? in reality this is really a party for adults since i think there will be all of 4 children there (2 of which are mine) but i still want to send something home with people. preferably something edible- because everyone has to eat.

i was leaning toward owl cookies- but lets be honest- i won't make them. i barely have time to clean the house & slap a cake together, much less cutout sugar cookies & apply royal icing.

maybe i'll just make some cookies, bag them & slap on an owl sticker.

and decorations? psha. this is going on in our tiny little log home. which is already decorated for Christmas. so throwing up a bunch of cutesy owl stuff is even less likely to happen than cookies.
i'll probably grab a few balloons, tie them to her highchair & call it a day.

part of me feels badly that her 1st b-day is so tiny. alex's was big & bad, as was her 2nd. but it was also warm & dry outside for both.

but poor brynn was born in Dec, to parents that own a house in New England with less than 1100 sq ft of living space.

all of those factors = party indoors. party small. party minimal.

tis' life. but it's ok- she knows we love her & everyone there loves her & she'll get a cupcake- so i'm 99.9% sure she'll be alright.
...even if i did tell people, "eh, you don't have to bring her a present. we've got tons of crap already!"

but she doesn't know that. & i'm betting everyone will still bring her something- because seriously, how do you go to a 1year old's party & bring her nothing? hmm? you can't- it's impossible.

i'm glad everyone isn't as heartless as i am.

so yes. party at the bird house on saturday. pizza & cake- yes. party favors & room to stretch- maybe.

30 day shred before pics & green smoothie recipe

alrighty- here are my 30 Day Shred Before pics (taken on Day#5)

shirtless: (no sucking in. end of the day. my apologies in advance.)



shirt'ed:



stretchmarks & loose skin courtesy of the small child in the bottom pictures. & let's not forget to thank her older sister as well.

weight: no clue
measurements: no clue

i'm going into this blind- except for the fact that i can look in the mirror.


ok- Green Smoothie:



1-2 bananas
1/2 cup frozen mangos
1/2 cup frozen peaches
couple handfuls of spinach
water
ice (if you want it)

toss it all in the blender & watch it come together. i usually user small bananas or 1 large banana. i also use around 1 cup of water & maybe 2-3 pieces of ice. it gives me the perfect amount of thickness to = smoothie & not so thick that it can't make it up the straw.



like i said- delish. & addicting.

ok- the next time you see pictures of me shirtless i hope to God that you can look @ them without wincing. i hope i can too.

oh yes- i started Level 2 last night- omfg. seriously?!

30 day shred update & other stuff

alright ladies. i'm on day #5.

that should say day #6 but i had to skip friday night because i had my office Christmas party to attend.

i wore a red dress & grey wedges. i did the "no heat curl" thing (again) with my hair & remembered to slap on a coat of mascara.

this is the result:



and because i adore the collar:



ok- here's what you should know. i spend the majority of the night sucking in. like- hardcore. like, if i put as much enery into eating right & working out as i did sucking in, i'd be a Victoria Secret model.

i'm telling you (& myself) this because looks can be deceiving. for the longest time i haven't paid attention to what eat & i haven't worked out because i'll get dressed, suck in & tell myself- "that'll do."

but it's not totally about what i look like. it's about how i feel. & skinny doesn't always = healthy.
i'm tired & lethargic & more often than not my stomach is like- "dude. wtf? eff you. give me salad or something."

and what i am or am not doing has everything to do with that. so yeah.

now don't worry- this is in no way going to turn into a weight loss/working out blog.
because i still abhore manual labor. & i still love sugar & carbs.

but it's true that we only get 1 life & 1 body & we should should probably be like, "hey body? you're cool. & i respect you- so i'm going to try not to abuse the crap out of you anymore. k? sorry about the last few months...my bad. but i pinky swear i'm going to do better. but there will still be cake sometimes...you're welcome."

and that about sums it up.
so yes- day #5.

i'm sore- but not as sore as day #2. or even #3.
i still can't do "real" pushups but i can do the "girlie" ones without too much bitching.
i'm able to get through the entire workout without getting lightheaded (yeah, that may or may not have happened on day#1) & i'm going to move up to level #2 tonight.

as for what i've been eating.
1. the Green Smoothie i mentioned?
it kicks ass. it's SO good & filling. and i feel like Pop-eye with the amount of spinach i'm consuming.
i've made it every morning & i suck it right down. i played with it today & added strawberries instead of mangos. delish.
and a bonus? the girls drink it too! & since i don't push veggies in our house (i know, terrible) i feel really good about sneaking them in via a smoothie.

2. Weight Loss Water?
incredibly refreshing! water + cucumbers + lemon + ginger + mint = crazy good. i have a big container at home & i bring some to work everyday & drink that instead of anything else.

3. i still love cookies, bread, butter, milk, cheese & anything that resembled a cupcake. i just try not to love on them quite as often.

Comments: your comments made me lol.

- 30 Day Shred still in it's shrink wrapped package
- Jillian's "horsey face"
- the green smoothie being "too green"
- epic amounts of cookies & ice cream
- etc etc

i do hope me hopping on the "trying to get healthy" wagon helps inspire those of you looking for inspiration. i'm not even kidding, if i can do it then you can too.
because if you pick up a dictionary & search for the worth "lazy"- you'll find my picture next to it.
so yeah.

in other news- brynn turns 1 on saturday. unacceptable. so this week will be spent trying to figure out how to turn back time. i'll let you know how it goes.

happy monday ladies!

p.s. my dress is from Francesca's Collection & the wedges are from Target

30 day hell

so the other day as i was walking past the mirror aisle at Target i noticed that my jeans didn't look as super fly as they once did.

at first i assumed that it was because i need new jeans. but upon closer inspection i realized that it wasn't my jeans that were sagging- it was my ass. and thighs. and anything else on my body that has the ability to sag.

i recoiled in horror & then did that thing. you know- that thing every woman does where she stands sideways in the mirror & lifts her butt with her hands.

here! here is where my butt should be.

and then i did the same with my stomach & chest.
lasty- i stood facing the mirror & pulled the jean fabric at the back of my thighs nice & tight.

oh look- there it is- the elusive thigh gap.
release fabric. no thigh gap. le'sigh.

then a store emplyee walked by & caught me fondling myself.
he smartly averted his eyes & kept walking. that's right buddy- move along. this is my aisle.

i turned around & glared at my children. "this is your fault!" i told them.
and it is- kind of. but not really.

see- thanks to my children i now have "battle scars" - i saw this term used in some empowering woman article crap thing so i've decided to use it. battle scars. like a gladiator. a gladiator that gets torn open & bleeds but doesn't die.

if you think about it, that's actually exactely what happens when you have a kid.

BUT- i do get really skinny after pushing them out. like skinny enough that people ask me if i'm eating. skinny enough that i can wear leggings as pants (i know i know- it's a no no).
skinny enough that i can eat whatever i want & not worry about it.
but then i stop breastfeeding & quickly gain 5 pounds. like legit overnight. 5 pounds. bam.

and then 10. and then, my clothes still fit but i should probably consider a pair of Spanx if i want to wear the form fitting dress.

what i'm getting at is that the extra weight & complete lack of toning & upper body strength is all me. my fault. because i love food & i hate exercise. simple as that.

however, after my Target mirror aisle wake up call i mentioned to the husband that i want to work out. go to the gym. sweat. drink water. wear meshy workout clothes. etc etc.

at first he was like, "are you cheating on me?"

to which i replied, "of course. i'm easily able to squeeze in midday trysts with some guy i met at the grocery store. i have all the time in the world for that. duh."

anyway- he said that was all well & good (me working out, not the trysts) - but when? seriously- when? i have no time. not even 1 hour to slip away to the gym. & that's the honest truth.
i work all day- get home. take care of the girls. the husband gets home at 7. girls go to bed. we eat. now it's 9pm. and only crazy people work out at 9pm & later.

crazy insane people who have a gap between their thighs.

so i was bummin' & then i ate a bunch of cookies & drank Bailey's. for like 4 days. epic.

then yesterday at work i was like- "eff this!" if i'm not knocked up i'm going to be in shape. or at least be able to walk up the stairs without considering the need for an oxygen tank.

so i got home. took care of children. put one child to bed & waited until i saw the husband's truck light in the driveway.

then i rolled out my mat, picked up my 3 pound weights & took a deep breath.

Hello Jillian. how are you? look at you. all in shape. thigh gap. flat stomach. abs. weird face (i'm sorry- it's true). other in shape stuff. cool workout digs. let's dance.

and we did. for 20 minutes Jillian & i had a connection. there were a few interruptions- like alex stealing my weights & pitching a fit because i wasn't paying attention to her. but after the husband realized i was serious (ie: i'm not stopping to control our child), he sighed loudly & took her downstairs.

20 minutes later i was a pile of jelly. Jillian signed off & i dragged my ass to the kitchen & drank water like a dying man in the desert. my hand was shaking a little & some water trickled down my chin.

it was all very dramatic.

then i ate a cookie. for energy. i'm weak.

but yeah. Day 1 of the 30 Day shred = complete. tonight = Day 2. tomorrow, Day 3 & etc etc.
i'm going to do it. because i really don't have any other options.

on top of that- i'm attempting to eat healthy. right? i know, it kind of sucks. a lot. but it's not all bad.
an apple instead of chips. ideal? no. better? yes. i guess. i add a smidge of peanut butter & i get my salty fix.
water instead of juice. this actually isn't bad. i squirt in some Mio & i'm good to go.
oatmeal instead of a muffin. i love oatmeal & it's cold out now. so i'm down.
carrot sticks instead of cookies? not gonna happen. ever. sorry. but at least i only eat 2 cookies istead of 4.

and the list goes on. i'm also adding on the Green Monster Smoothie (i'm sure you've seen it on Pinterest. it's supposed to be the bomb.) & some Weight Loss Water to my daily routine.

i'm excited. i don't expect to look like a mirror body image of Jillian...ok, yes i do...but i do expect to look better in 30 days.

i guess i should take before & after pictures. so that's my goal tonight. before pictures. & straightening my hair- because my office Christmas party is tomorrow & i need to maximize my time so i can attempt to look presentable.

and that's what's up.

so tell me- do you work out? do the 30 day shred? PDX90? lift your butt in the Target mirror aisle?