RIP Gary cat

Gary (our outdoor cat) hasn't been home in 4 days.

this is unlike him. he usually comes home every evening & lounges on the back porch.
i'll spot him, he meows, i pet him & he wanders inside to eat & clean himself on our bed.

he also usually deposits many a dead creature on the back steps- so that we may admire them & then toss them into the woods when he isn't looking.

well no dead creatures. no Gary cat.

i've been telling myself that he's simply lost track of time & is livin' it up with the barn cats next door. but now as i sit here, i'm getting a bit teary eyed.

we knew the dangers of allowing him to be an outdoor cat- but his total hatred of being inside & utter LOVE of being outside (meaning, the door would be shut & locked & yet i'd still find him on the other side of it. this forced me to worry that he had either mastered the art of opening a door- with kitty paws no less- or that he was a vampire cate who posesses the ability to walk through walls. i must admit, the former scared me- the latter made me giddy that vampires might actually be real.) forced us to purchase Advantix & set him free.
for several months he has happily frollicked outdoors- stalking small animals & making friends with neighboring cats.

the husband warned me that there are dangerous predators lurking in the woods & that one day Gary might simply not come home. but i scoffed at the idea- Gary is tough. Gary is fast. Gary is awesome.

well- 4 days of searching the woods, calling his name, tsk tsk tsking & snack shaking hasn't produced our tough guy.

the practical side of me is telling me he's gone. the practical side of me is also amazingly ok with it. this is nature. the circle of life. the way things are.

but the Gary cat lover side of me is so very sad & in denial.
i ADORE that cat. and he is the one animal in the house that prefers me over the husband.
the rest, allthough technically mine, all clearly favor the husband.

yes he ripped up every toilet paper roll we put up.
yes he peed all over the basement floor.
yes he scratched the crap out of our walls.
yes he stole food off the counter.
yes he would regurgitate his food all over the house.
yes he once escaped outdoors in the middle of a storm & forced the husband to save him from the muddy flooding swamp after an hour of searching.

but we still love him. mostly.

his sister (Maceo- our fatty cat) clearly misses him. she's been meowing at the slider- running outside & then back in. tripping us up. hanging around us (which she rarely does). looking out the windows. meowing some more.
the first 2 days she was somewhat frantic- but i've noticed now that she's settling down & hanging out in all the places gary never allowed her to. almost like she's taking over. like she knows- you know?

as i sit here typing this i'm 97% sure he's not coming home.
we live rather rurally- so the chances of him getting lost & winding up in someone's yard is slim to none.

but the chances of him getting snagged by a coyote or fisher cat? very high.

oh. i'm so bummed. poor Gary.






Circa 07'



oh hai



damn.