alex vs the stairs

so yesterday, as i arrived to pick up alex, my mother calmly informs me that alex fell down the stairs.

i stopped stuffing things into her baby bag & simply looked at my mother."what?!"

to which my mother replied, "yeah, i turned around for a second to put jayden (my niece) down and the next thing i knew she was falling down the stairs. i'm not sure how many stairs- but i'm 99% sure it was only a couple. i grabbed her and checked her over and she's fine. she only cried for a minute and then she got down and went to play with jael (my other niece). she was playing and laughing and eating just fine so she's alright."


i looked over at my child, happily sitting in my sister's lap & laughing at Veggie Tales. she did indeed appear "just fine". in fact, she finally noticed me, waved, got down, walked over & said "HI MAMMA!" she then demanded that my mother pick her up & i gave her the head to toe checkup.

other than a couple small bruises on her face she was completely fine. nothing was broken, she could walk, talk, eat, play, sing, tell me "NO!"- all the things that she normally does.

i then looked over at the stairs. stairs i've known for the past 18 years. stairs that all of my younger siblings have fallen down (while on my watch might i add) and lived. stairs that are fairly shallow & well carpeted. stairs that, while are responsible for my kid's bruises, really had no say in the matter.

so as i stood there looking at my obviously fine child, i was at a loss.

should i get mad & shake my finger?
should i scream & cry & beat my chest?
should i scold my mother for not keeping a better eye on my child?
should i kick the stairs?
should i build a time machine so i could go back & stop this from ever happening?

honestly? what do you do in a situation like that? my mother was obviously apologetic, but she was also very matter of fact. alex fell down a couple steps- but these things happen & she was fine.

gah. so i left it at that. i finished collecting her things, had her wave bye bye to her "neinea", strapped her in her carseat, kissed her cheeks & headed home.

on the way home, alex fell asleep. now this isn't uncommon- she'll often squeeze in a catnap while riding in the car. but as i looked in the review mirror & saw my child drifting off i was suddenly siezed with fear.

"omg! she's asleep! she must have a concussion! you can't sleep with a concussion. no, she's fine- she's just sleeping. is she breathing? OMG! why does her neck look like that? OMG IT'S BROKEN! OMGOMGOMG!"

and then i stopped myself. this was silly. of course she's breathing. her neck always looks like that & it's perfectly normal for a 1 year old to fall asleep in the car. chill out t.

so i did. i thought about it & realized that while i wasn't angry with my mother, i was, with good reason, slightly annoyed. but still- should i even be annoyed?
yes- this could have been avoided if she'd been paying better attention- but then again, she's human. and she's watching 3 toddlers. and i myself have taken my eyes off alex for a minute only to turn around just in time to watch her bash her head into the wall.

these. things. happen.

blah. so we got home & i unbuckled my sleeping child who immediately woke up & said, "...puppies? APPLE!?"

we went inside. she ate dinner. she wobbled around. she laughed & played with her puppies. she had a bath. she tried to drink bath water. she told me "no". she smacked me because i told her "no". she pooped. i gave her some of my juice. she asked for "more? more?"

she even fell a couple times. while i was looking right at her. go figure.

the husband got home & he basically reacted the same way i did. not much we can do, right?

she played with dadda & then went to bed. i checked on her all night, watched her sleep, watched her breath & made her wake up a couple times (because that's what they do on TV) which pissed her off but comforted me.

and this morning i woke her up, she fussed as usual, took her bottle, let me dress her & sat with dadda for a minute.
i then drove her to my mothers where she happily ran around her playroom & gleefully said "buh bye" when i left.

good God. she's fine. but i'm still not. stairs are stupid- why do we even have them? why can't we just have ramps? ramps are safe, right?

anyway. so there you go. alex fell down the stairs. but she's ok. and chances are, if your kid falls down the stairs- they'll be ok too. i promise.

in other news- i had my teeth cleaned this morning & i officially hate my hygenist. my mouth is throbbing. why does she have to be so aggressive?! what have my teeth ever done to her (besides make sure she gets a paycheck)?

::cry::