it's snowing!!!!

IT'S SNOWING!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!
I LOVE THE FIRST SNOWFALL!!!!

i love twilight

the first 4 links are by the same "fan"

Twilight Trailer
New Moon Trailer
Eclipse Trailer
Breaking Dawn Teaser (Trailer)

this link is by another "fan"- i like this trailer better than the above teaser one.

Breaking Dawn Trailer (by another fan)

::sigh::
if this makes me a loser, than so be it. gaaaah!

ps: after my Coach excursion, i ended up with this:

LOVES!!! 25% off saved me $70!!! i would have bought the wallet buuut- it would have been more than the bag!! can you even believe it? sooo, i'll have to go back & buy it in a couple weeks- i MUST match when it comes to my bags/wallets. i MUST!
ok that's it. i have to go switch all my crap over from my other bag- squee!

twilight movie "recap"

ok- so i went & saw twilight last night- yay! it wasn't nearly as good as i had hoped but i still loved it because, well- it's twilight. der. so yeah.
i won't recap because i don't want to spoil it for anyone- but you should see it. it's a good way to spend 90 minutes or so.

hmmm- in other news, my hysteroscopy & endo. biopsy went smoothly, but VERY painfully. i mean, i have never been in so much pain- it was sickening. however it was all over in a matter of seconds so that was a relief. the hysteroscopy showed a nice. clean uterus & the biopsy results will be back in 2 weeks. we have our appt with the Genetics Counselor next week & then it should be on to stimming- wow. i honestly never thought i'd have to do a fresh cycle ever again- this sucks. i really pray this is it because it's pretty much our last chance.

well, it's saturday & the husband is off hunting so i'm going to go to Coach & use the 25% off coupon that i got from a lovely nestie (thanks mnkari!!!)
have a wonderful, freeeeezing day!

busy busy rush rush

ok- so i'm in total "rush rush, hurry hurry" mode for the next month & a half. I let my RE know that my insurance would be ending in Jan- so he agreed that we can go ahead with a fresh cycle, but only if i see a genetic counselor to discuss the risks of a pregnancy @ 2 1/2 months instead of 3 months after a Methotrexate shot. so this is kind of what everything looks like:

11/13- start BCP for fresh IVF#2
11/19- hysteroscopy & endometrial biopsy
11/28- appt. with a Genetics Counselor (in boston- ugh)
(tentative- give or take a few days)
12/10-11ish- start stims
12/23ish- ER
12/26-29ish- ET
01/10-15ish- Beta

good Lord. basically- after the Genetics Counselor appt. we're good to go- but we have to get the ok from her. based on research i've done- 2 months is a sufficient amount of time to wait after a Metho. shot- and we'll be only 2 weeks shy of the 3 month mark- so i don't think there are any big risks here. Honestly- this is our last shot for awhile because paying OOP for IVF is really not feasible. i'm praying with everything in me that this works- seriously.
i'm not looking forward to my procedure on the 19th (i hate pain) but oh well. yikes.

so yeah- that's that. i just needed to get this all down so that i can see it "on paper"
i'm not big on all the rushing- and specially around the holidays, but it has to be done. we will do whatever we have to do to help this work.
also- i need to ask my RE about acupuncture- i'm not keen on dishing out the $$$ but if it's only a couple times, what can it hurt? yeeeesh!!!!

this sucks

as of 01/01/09 i will no longer have coverage for IF.
thanks to my company's merger, they've decided to go with shit insurance out of NC (a state that doesn't mandate If coverage) so that's that.

technically- my insurance will cover IF dx & treatment- but only up to $2,500 max per lifetime. um, excuse me? what the fuck is $2,500 going to cover? absolutely nothing- that's what. also there is NO coverage for IF drugs, what-so-ever. good Lord. i knew this was coming but i didn't really prepare myself for it. this sucks so bad.

sooo, now i'm trying to cram everything into this next two months. CD1 is today (sort of, it's not exactely "heavy flow" but i know it will be by tomorrow) so i called & scheduled my hysto. & endo. biop. for next wed (11/19) @ 3pm.
i also let the nurse know that my insurance is changing so i need to try & move things along- however the methotrexate shot is really biting me in the ass. technically i'm not allowed to "get pregnant" until 01/03 (3 months) but my RE said that if my insurance changed, they would "work with me"- ie: do the transfer & such before the 1st- ugh. i hate this! why should i have to rush at all?! i shouldn't! this isn't fair!

whatever- they haven't said that they're closed for the holidays so if they are, and have neglected to mention that, then i'm going to flip the fuck out. this HAS to work- and i want freaking quads so i can be done all my baby making in 1 shot. seriously.

so yeah- that's about it. i had a pretty good weekend & i was feeling pretty "ok" until today. now i'm just bummed. i was very blessed to have coverage & now that i won't anymore, i almost feel like God is saying no. why else would this happen? maybe He's punishing me for being so bitter & bitchy- i don't know! but i hate to think like that- i'm literally begging Him to make this work. i know it doesn't work that way, but i don't know what else to do. i'm already trying to figure out if there is a PT job i can get where the company provides IF coverage- doesn't Starbucks have that?! wow- i'm so desperate. this is sad. no one should have to feel this desperate.

ok that's it- i'll write about my weekend (my mother got ordained- squee!!!) & post pics later. for now i'm going to wallow in self pity.

obama is our new president

i sure as hell hope he's up to the task.

i have a hard time with a president who has no military background- that's my honest opinion. i think, considering the state of this country & other countries right now, that a military background is key.

however, considering that the majority of the United States is full of hippies who want to sit & chant "NO MORE WAR!" but never stop to think about what war has gotten this country, i'm not surprised that this isn't important to them. war is war. there's nothing pretty & glamorous about it but it's a necessary evil to keep things under control. i think people forget that the very troops that go fight & die for them VOLUNTARILY signed up to do so. they're out there because they WANT TO FIGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY & IT'S PRINCIPALS! so please, shut up with your "war is bad & Bush sucks" bullshit- stop placing the blame for the state of this country on ONE man who was READILY backed by 99% of America after 9/11. just stop. the state of this country is the responsibility of it's own residents & corrupt politicians. it's not Bush's fault- my God, the man doesn't even make a quarter of the decisions & laws that are passed- he's just a scapegoat.
i'm not saying that people shouldn't mourn the loss of loved ones- or that it's completely heartbreaking when another soldier dies- but these people are dying for something they believe in- why are you going to tarnish those beliefs with rallys and hatred? if you don't beleive that what they died for is worth dying for- then they died in vain.

i'm not saying that McCain was the "answer" to all our "problems"- but i don't think Obama is either- and i'm annoyed by the fact that the man has been put on a pedestal simply because he's promised "change" and let's face it, he's black. i think that's what this comes down to- do you know how many people voted for Obama simply because he's black?! that is NOT a reason to vote for someone!!! i watched the coverage- i watched the singing & dancing of the black churches down south- i saw the interviews of people who went on & on about how "wonderful this is because he's an African American & we've been waiting for this for a long time..." i'm sorry but that is NOT why you vote for someone. i'm African American and while i do see this as an amazing example of how far our country has come- that wouldn't be a reason to vote for someone.

all in all- i guess we'll see. because i'm an American & because Obama is now my president, fair & square, i'm going to trust that what he does is going to be best for all of us. i'm going to follow his lead & "unify" just like he's asked- because that's what this country is about. we've elected the man, so now we need to stand by him & support him. it's as simple as that.

honestly- i had issues with both candidates- i'm not sure that either of them are really fit to lead, so this isn't an issue of McCain vs Obama for me- this is an issue with the God like status that Obama has been given. he's not a God. he's simply a man who said the "right" things & isn't affiliated with Bush- that's about it. so please America- stop worshiping him. if you put all your faith in him & he fails- then what? are you going to hate him like you hated Bush?

let's see how much CHANGE Obama will bring to the USA- considering that was the base of his campaign & the fact that he's basically PROMISED to "turn America around"- he'd better freaking deliver. i pray he does.

and if he doesn't- well at least i didn't vote for him.

halloween weekend

first things first: i finally met my newest neice! she's 4 months old and so ADORABLE!! she looks just like my brother- not at all like me though. oh well. she has the cutest dimples & her laugh is so cute- and she never cries! she's basically perfect!
look at her face- she was facinated with the dogs- haha!

awww- my younger brother tre' & jael. i just want to squeeze her cheeks!!! ahhh!

all in all it was wonderful to meet her, but still hard because i can't have one of my own. blargh- it sucks that this all has to be so bittersweet. oh well i guess- one day.

in other news- i have a lovely UTI. i just knew i felt one coming on, on friday- i figured i could ward it off by chugging cranberry juice- but to no avail. i made an appt & went in on sat. afternoon. the dr. was shocked that my symptoms weren't worse because, according to him, "the test results aren't subtle at all" in other words: "you have a raging uti!!!" how lovely. so he wrote me a prescription & off i went.

hopefully this thing clears up pretty quickly- i've only ever had one UTI before & it sucked- i had no idea what it was at the time, i just knew i wanted it gone. blargh.

anywho: that's about it. i woke up this morning, not realizing that the clocks needed to set back- aaaargh! but i feel like i gained an hour....sort of. except now i'm super tired and it's technically only 6:30. God, i'm so old. anyway- i managed to do a buttload of cooking today & get it out of the way. my biggest accomplishment was finding a reasonably priced dutch oven (thank you HomeGoods) & getting my sauce ready for lasagna tomorrow. i don't know if there is anything better than knowing you have homemade sauce bubbling away on the stove. eeek!

aaaaand yeah- i guess i'll go suffer through a couple more hours of football with brandon & his brother & then kick back for a new Family Guy- omg yay!

i leave you with this picture of cessna- this is her "sock hat" (basically, my husband's sock with a huge hole in the heel) which i love & she hates. lol. she looks like a bug! haaaa!