breastfeeding (or a lack there of)

per a request- i was going to type up a long entry about how alex refuses to breastfeed.

well what do you know? last night i offered her the boob, just to see if she had any interest, and she happily accepted it & drank her fill without any fussing.

what?! who is this baby??? she's definately not my kid! my kid SCREECHES at the site of the boob- in fact, all i'd have to do is un-hook my nursing bra tank & her head would whip around excorcist style & she'd glare at me as if to say, "if you try to put that thing in my mouth, i will end you!"

so what is this sudden change of heart? after all- it's been a month since she's last latched on. is it a fluke? was she too tired to fight? hmmm- do i dare try it again tonight???

i think i shall! maybe she misses it as much as i do. that must be it, right?

so, last night i sat there. breastfeeding my child, stroking her lovely hair & talking to her about everything in the world. it was a wonderful moment, which i cherished....until she bit me. HARD! wtf?! you LITTLE!!! that's it- you're CUT OFF! as i shrieked and desperately tried to break her latch, she had the gall to look up at me & smile. smile BIG - and then, laugh. LAUGH HARD!
evil child.

but anyway- we'll see.

but i wanted to type it out anyway:

about a month ago alex started fighting me tooth & nail when i tried to breastfeed her. her eyes, that used to light up at the site of my nursing tank coming un-done, now looked, frankly, pissed off. but the bottle- oh boy- her best friend! she'd see it coming & squeal with anticipation.
why?! it's the same stuff! what's the problem!
i tried different positions, i tried switching from bottle to nip (on the sly)- everything- but no go. she just wasn't having it. so instead of fighting with her, i decided to let her have what she wanted. the bottle. i started pumping exclusively & honestly, we were all much happier.

she could happily eat, my nips were safe from her teething frenzy & the husband could watch the 49ers lose in peace (haha)

not to say i didn't miss it- there's just something about having your child depend SOLEY on you for food that makes your heart swell- but her happiness was far more important than my "needs"

so that's what we've been doing. momma pumps & baby eats from a bottle. no biggie.
and most likely that's still how it will be 95% of the time. i'm going to try to get her to latch again tonight- but if she doesn't want to then she doesn't have to.

i'll just continue to warm up her bottles (she's freaking picky) and make sure she eats one way or another. such is life :)

lactation consult

so breastfeeding has been going very well- the first day or so, getting her to latch on was almost impossible- i didn't know what i was doing & neither did she- but eventually we got it. we also used the bottle a few times.

after that, my milk has been INSANE! it came in on Monday morning & since then i am able to feed her MORE than enough and also bank close to a gallon of milk in the freezer....yes, almost a GALLON now! it boggles my mind that all that milk comes out of ME! nuts.

anyway- all was well except for my nipples. mainly my left one- the poor thing was so sore & tender & mangled. i mean, she would latch on & i would hold my breath & curl my toes for a good minute waiting for the pain to pass. it was aaaaweful. pumping wasn't bad, but she's a vicious latcher & it killed me every time.

so i talked to a nurse at the hospital who suggested that i ask my OB for a Triple Nipple Compound prescription. i guess this stuff is like gold for the nips. i also scheduled an appt with a Lactation Consultant.

i saw her on Fri and it was aaawesome! she watched Alex feed and said that her latch is "adequate"- this is because alex REFUSES to open too wide to latch on- but it's not bad enough that she'll destroy the nips- whew. she is, however, an AWESOME feeder with a very strong suck. the LC weighed her before & after a 10 min feeding and she gained 3 oz! she was very impressed & pleased. she said my milk supply is great & alex feeds awesome. however when she caught site of my poor left nip she looked pained- she suggested the Triple Nipple Compound as well & was quite happy to hear that i had already put in a request. YAY! she said that within 24 hours of using it, my poor nips will feel MUCH better. in the meantime she suggested that i give the left boob a break & simply pump from that side. since my right boob is pretty much fine, i've just been feeding alex on that side & pumping from both. whew!

she also said that there is NOTHING wrong with bottle & breastfeeding. it's ok to give the girls a break & feed her via bottle 1-2 times a day. fortunately, alex take the bottle & the boob just fine so that pleases me.

she also watch me pump for a minute & we determined that the 24mm soft breast flange was a TAD to small so i went & picked up some 27mm and i must say, even thought they're not soft cupped- they feel MUCH better.

so all in all, all is well! i can pump, feed & etc etc etc. i picked up the TNC (prescription) today and applied it after i fed/pumped. i'm going to give the left nip another day or so before i let Alex back at it- it should be pretty healed up by then.


so yeah! i HIGHLY suggest seeing an LC if you're having ANY problems/concerns with/about breastfeeding. they are so helpful & awesome!