50 Shades of Grey

i'm sure the majority of you have heard about this book. am i right?

apparently it makes women weak in the knees &...moist other places.

hands fan flushed faces & school girl giggles erupt from the mouths of grown women. 5 chapters are devoured in the blink of an eager eye & plans are made for a night of experimenting with significant others.

glasses of wine are poured, baths drawn & long forgotten negliges are laid out. another 5 chapters & 1/2 a bottle of Chablis later & husband, boyfriends & fiances around the globe are wracking their brain to figure out what they did to deserve what is happening right this minute- because dude, i'm doing it again tomorrow. ::high five::

that, my friends, is all thanks to 50 Shades of Grey.

so, what is 50 Shades of Grey? (if you're asking me this then you obviously haven't been paying attention to anything lately) well basically, it's a smutty, badly written, hilarious, omfg did i really just read that?!?, ARE YOU SERIOUS!?, wait...what?!?!, book.

yes- that sums it up rather nicely. i guess you kind of want to read it now, huh?
well, i don't blame you. because you guys- the term "my inner goddess" is used well over 50 times.

women empowerment you say? word up.

i think it's pretty obvious that i'm the 1% here. the 1% of women who aren't left in a puddle of desire after reading 600 pages worth of kinky trash.
this book did nothing for my "inner goddess" but it did give me a bunch of material if i ever delve into the world of stand up comedy. & for that, i must thank Miss E.L. James.

so do i recommend reading this book? um...no comment.

ok who am i kidding, YES! READ IT NOW! if for no other reason then you'll totally "get it" & pee your pants over Ellen Degenerous reading it:



genius.   p.s. i've only read book #1- so be honest with me, are books #2 & 3 equally as awesome? do i need to go purchase them immediately? will my comedic life not be complete until i do?

nature

last year the husband got me a weeping cherry tree for mother's day.
all the flowers blew off on it's ride to our house so the planting & then admiring of the tree was a bit anti-climatic.
however, the tree guy assured me that this year i would be able to bask in the beauty of tiny white blossoms.

 ...& bees.

 yes. the bees own my cherry tree.

when it bloomed a few weeks back i ran over to hug it & bury my nose in the sweet smelling blossoms. (if you're imaging this in your head it probably looks like something out of an old movie. pretty epic) well i got close & then saw that my tree was literally being humped by bees. hundreds of bees.

big bees, little bees, furry bees...bees bees bees.

at first i was pretty sure that i'd have to make a wide berth anytime i went outside but then i realized that the bees didn't give 2 craps about me. they were so drunk. on my tree. so i pulled out my camera & decided to see what i could get.

(which edit do you prefer? i'm a fan of #1 but most people seemed to prefer #2)


 

i've now decided that the bees are free to do whatever they want to my tree.

plus, we got to show the girls bees & talk about honey & pollen & buzz buzz buzz & that counts as a nature lesson of sorts.

the paper mama challenge (i won)

so i won the Paper Mama's Family Photo Challenge.

yay!

so this entitles me to this nifty blog badge:

i was also on the Favorites list a couple weeks back

another yay!

so another blog badge for me:

this is fun!

life & blogging & everything else

i surmise that this blog may be bordering on being quite boring as of late.

in fact, i'm pretty sure it's more than bordering.

but the truth is- i am boring.

i don't have grand adventures. i'm not fashionable. i don't have kick ass sponsers. i don't offer incredible giveaways (not for lack of wanting. dude, i'd kill for an Oreck or an overpriced diaper bag). i don't come up with amazing DIY's. i don't go on vacations or girl's night outs. there are no blog meetups or get togethers in NH. i don't write for Babble. i can't justify attending BlogHer. i'm not pregnant. i don't have any strong opinions on any controversial topics. i don't have a job that calls for outfits worthy of instagram. i don't have any desire to spend my evening drinking wine & tweeting. i don't like wine & i'm too tired to tweet.

basically, i live vicariously through 95% of the blogs i, myself, read.

tonight, for example, will consist of me getting off work, picking up the girls, driving home, begging them to eat their dinner, watching them eat only grapes & watermelon & snubbing the macaroni:



(why yes, my 16 month old does still takes a bottle)

bathing them, telling them, "no you don't need fruit snacks because you didn't eat dinner" (only to cave 5 minutes later when they start hitting each other), trying to squeeze in 25 minutes with Jillian, cleaning up spilled water & crushed goldfish, waiting for the husband to get home, hopping in a scalding 5 minute shower, reading stories & picking up the toy tsunami, throwing in a load of laundry, saying goodnights & sleep tights, attempting to gather together a 300 calorie dinner when all i really want is Papa John's pizza & a Coke, collapsing on the couch.

& watching Grimm. friday night is Grimm night. i'll admit it, i think about it all day & count down the minutes. who am i?!

but yeah. that's tonight. & every other weeknight (minus Grimm).

i work 9 hour days & the husband works 12. that doesn't alot us much time for impromptu park picnics & trips for ice cream.

my instagram feed is full of playground visits, fashinable attire, zoo trips & dinners out. meanwhile i'm glaring at the clock that is seemingly stuck @ 11:30am.
Panera lunches & In & Out Burger make me curse my diet & loath my Healthy Choice meal.
date nights & hang outs with friends sprinkled with grande Starbuck's lattes + a slice of lemon loaf have me wistfully wishing we had friends, time for date nights & justification for a $5 beverage.

you could say i'm a wee bit jealous...& you'd be right. i'm well aware that envy is one of the 7 deadly sins (hello, i've seen Seven) but dude, i'm only human.

however, lately, when i feel myself starting to get green, i remind myself to focus on everything that i DO have. everything that i've been blessed with.

i have a fab husband that puts up with my OCD & weird anal-ness about...well, everything.
i have 2 incredible little girls who are completely healthy & think that i'm the bee's knees.
i have 2 dogs that pee on the floor & crap in my flower beds...ok, let's not talk about them.
i have a cat who is too fat & lazy to clean herself properly & sometimes has turds clinging to her butt hairs...yeah let's not talk about her either. (i threw up in my mouth a little too)
we have a home, 2 working cars & we both have stable jobs.
we scored in the Nanny dept & i don't worry about my children's safety as i sit at work.
we can pay our bills, put money into our 401k's & plan for our children's futures.
etc etc etc

(in fact, looking @ first world problems, i rather feel like i should be slapped for ever complaining about anything. gracious)

so when it comes down to it- i guess my boring life is pretty alright




i'm well aware that i'm not the only working mom in the world who feels spread too thin at times. & i'm pretty sure there are some working mom bloggers who manage to lead pretty interesting lives despite crazy work schedules....(said moms, feel free to email me your secrets. is it cloning? sister wives? 8 cups of coffee...something illegal that doesn't show up in a drug test?)

what it comes down to is that we all lead pretty kick ass lives- just in different ways. i can see that simply by looking at my own blogroll & instagram feed & twitter account.
i'm just as hungry to read up on the life of a mother of 1 living in a penthouse in the city as i am to follow the life of a mother of 4 living simply on a farm.

it's like licking the crumbs off my plate from 2 different cookies...not oatmeal raisin though. because, just ew.

so i guess this is a bit of an apology. i'm sorry that i only have so much to offer. i'm sorry that sometimes a week will go by with no posts. i'm sorry that sometimes i just throw a bunch of pictures at you & call it a day. i'm sorry that you probably have no desire to raid my closet. but at least i'm hilarious, right?

but it's also a thank you- thank you to those that read this thing despite my lack of....whatever. i've been blogging here since 2007 (omg) & i've met (internet met) a lot of cool women through my little internet home. win.

& now i have to go drink water (not coke) & eat a reduced guilt freezer meal (not pizza) & try to figure out why Justin Beaber's "boyfriend" song is on repeat in my brain.

what we've been up to via instagram

as much as i'd love to drag my camera everywhere, my hands are usually full of juice cups, dirty diapers & stuffed animals that simply HAD TO COME WITH US ON THIS TRIP TO TARGET!!!
so my phone wins. instagram forever. (if you want to follow me i'm @lookatthebirds) even you androiders can now get in on the action.

this past weekend alex resumed swim classes & i decided to make it a morning of just her & i. i sent brynn off with the husband to do their own thing.
we started at the pool & then hit up the mall for some Gap & frozen yogurt action:



by the way- i am now obsessed with tutti frutti. i'm trying to figure out how to justify going on a daily basis.

on the way home she informed me that "mommy. i had fun today." damn straight. ::huge mom smile::

sunday was a chill day- the weather was insanely awesome so after church we ran them ragged outside so they'd nap royally (brynn complied, alex resisted). then we indulged in fish tacos, french fries & chicken strips at a local eatery. we topped it off with ice cream & headed home to bath the 2 stickiest girls in existence.



after the household minors were tucked into bed we high fived ourselves for an awesome weekend & i happily ignored Jillian calling to me from the dvd player. sunday is a day of rest people.

back to the weekly grind yesterday, along with 90+ degree weather. i so badly wanted to skip Jillian once again- but i didn't.
this diet thing isn't half bad. i feel better & i'm still crazy shocked over the amount of food that i can fill up on.
i'm by no means free from temptation- warm bread & chocolate both still whisper downright filthy things in my ear- but i tune them out.

one of the best things i've discoverd is no cook refrigerator oatmeal:



you make it the night before by mixing greek yogurt, milk, rolled oats, chia seeds & various fruits. you give it a stir & pop it in the fridge.
the next morning it's nice & thick & delish. i top it with a bit more fruit or shredded coconut & you've got a healthy breakfast that literally fills you up.

i've been playing around with different yogurt & fruit flavors & i think my fav so far has been Cocnut Mango. insaaaane.

& that about wraps it up.
random weather, daily life, watching my girls turn into little persons, upcoming photoshoots (score), planning for summer- the ususal:



so you. what have you been up to?

& would anyone be interested in a Link Up? if so- any ideas? we could do a "this week in instagram" link up or a "my kids are awesome" link up or etc etc. let me know!

Grace&Lace Winner (#2)

due to no contact by winner #1 (within 48+ hours) i'm using Random.org once again to pick another winner: Comment#2


Congrats to Lea!!!

Make sure to shoot me an email with yourname, color choice & address (within 48 hours) & Grace&Lace will get your package right out to you!

Grace&Lace Giveaway Winner

EDITED- new winner chosen.

a facelift & other things

i've been wanting to change things up for awhile now, but me + HTML + grand ideas usually = "save without backing up? hell yeah, i've got this!"
SAVE
"...oh shit. well that's not right....damnit!"

so i decided to enlist someone to assist me. one of my wiser choices this week.

a huge shout out & thank you to Ashley over @ Life as Ashlet for taking what i envisioned in my my head, for my blog, & making it magically appear on my computer screen.

in, like, a day.
she's some kind of sorcerer.
_____________________________________________________

& a few things:
- the Grace&Lace giveaway ends tonight
- alex's outfit in that post is from Simplicity Couture on etsy (c/o of my friend Julie)
- alex's shoes are c/o Toke

& even more:
- i'm still going strong on my "diet". 1200-1500 calories per day is no joke & i waged a pretty savage internal battle yesterday when my office bought pizza. but the desire to button my shorts won out.
sometimes i just pretend i'm in The Hunger Games & that the snacks in my drawer don't exist....& that Peeta is gonna bake me bread when this is all over. it's very effective.
- i started back up on the 30 Day Shred. yes, i know i declared "I HAVE NO TIME!" but that's crap. i can make time. so i did- last night. i'm skipping Level 1 & jumping right in with 15 days at Level 2. i took before photos (again) & i'll make sure to get those up once i have after photos (which means i HAVE to do the 30 days again & i HAVE to stick with it & actually show you guys what it does)

& lastly
- Easter family picture ftw:



(entered into TPM's photo challenge)

The Paper Mamma "Favorite Photo" Challenge

i've decided to link up with The Paper Mama's photo challenge this week.

This Week: Your favorite photo from the last month



it was hard to choose, what with jumping shenanigans & leaf throwing, but i just adore this one.

if you're interested in linking up then head over to TPM's blog & check it out!

Grace & Lace Legwarmer Giveaway!

one day, last fall, i was scrolling through Pinterest & happened upon a picture of insanely cute lacy legwarmers by Grace&Lace.
i clicked, took another look, declared to myself, "Self, you must re-pin these & then go buy 20 pairs."
so i did. well, i didn't buy 20 pairs but i did re-pin & i did buy 1 pair- so...close enough.

since that day Grace&Lace has blown up- in a big way. you can't go on Pinterest without seeing a pin of her (Melissa's) awesome legwarmers, boot socks & new lace peep socks.

women wait with baited breath on her FB page for her to announce when her next batch is available on etsy. & when she says "Ok, more stuff is up!" they go mad- picturing furious key tapping & mouse clicking as women, figurativly, trip over themselves to score a pair before they're gone. when the message of "Your purchase has been made" flashes across the screen you can be certain that fist pumping & victory sighs are going down.

how do i know this? ...don't ask.

but you may stop & ask me where i got my legwarmers (which people have done) & i'll glady point you in Grace&Lace's direction.
so when Melissa offered a review/giveaway i jumped on it- i also casually mentioned that if she ever made these bad boys on a smaller scale i had 2 very willing models.
well what do you know? she does: the Lil Lacey Lou




they're perfectly sized for little legs:



& apparently they give you "swag" & the ability to jump really high:



see?

my normally non-compliant 2 year old happily wore them around & even felt it nessecary to show them to the chickens:



that's a win in my book.

so, today Grace&Lace is giving away 1 pair of Lil Lacy Lou's to one of my readers. they come in 4 colors & you'll get to pick your favorite (the ones in my shots are off white & they literally go with everything)

all you have to do to enter is leave a comment telling me which Grace&Lace product is your favorite (she also has scarves, arm warmers & headbands!)- that's it!

if you want to gain addtl entries:
1. Like Grace& Lace on FB (1 extra)
2. share this giveaway on your FB, twitter or blog (1 extra)

easy peasy.
this giveaway will be open until Wed April 11th @ 11:59pm PST & i'll announce a winner on Thursday morning.

good luck & have an awesome Easter!

what's good?

things are slowly returning to normal.

amidst babies being born, hectic schedules, driving to & fro, things have been insane. i've also been busy with other, personal, things that haven't panned out exactly as i'd hoped, so throw a dash of disappointment into the mix & you've got yourself the busiest March ever.

thankfully the majority of last month was spent in a summer weather haze- so while i may have felt like i wanted to just go into a room, shut the door & scream (or sleep)- at least i was able to drag my offspring outdoors & let them run a muck sans a jacket:















we also managed to sneak in a playdate with some friends:








the amazing temps & an abundance of cracked corn (meant for our own chickens) also prompted several visits from a local band of roving turkeys:





& a couple lonely jakes were a bit braver & came right up to our porch:






imagine swimming lessons, tantrums, laughing, crying, sleeping, dogs peeing on the floor, work, bills, lots of coffee & that basically sums up the month of March.

april is looking like it's going to be a little easier to swallow:

- i have a pretty sweet review/giveaway coming this week! Grace & Lace is going to be giving away a pair of Lil Lacey Lou's to one of you guys, so if you've got a little girl who needs a pair of legwarmers (& trust me, every little girl does) then make sure you check back in before Friday!

- i've started tracking my calorie intake with SparkPeople.com & MyFitnessPal.com & it. is. insane. how much crap i consume. so as of April 1st i've really buckled down & i'm limiting myself to 1200-1500 calories per day. within 3 days i already feel better about my diet. i'm really focusing on healthy snacking & smaller portions.
i'm going to give myself a month on pre packages healthy meals to see how i do- then i'll move on to cooking more meals & breaking down the calories in each serving. i'm going to give myself 1 cheat day per week as a reward. i'd love to toss Jillian (30 day Shred) in there but i just have to be honest- i don't have the time. i know it's only 20 minutes but i literally don't have 20 minutes.
so instead i'm going to be taking about 10 minutes per day to focus on one section of my body. abs, butt, thighs- etc etc.i'm also going to take the stairs at work & try to take walks with the girls after work.
i know i never really updated after my 30 Day Shred in Dec but eating better & working out really made a diff. i felt leaner & better about myself. then i stopped...& didn't go back & i quickly gained back whatever weight & inches i'd lost. bad.

so this time i'm determined. i'm not pregnant so i have no excuse to have a belly this summer.
i'm currently weighing in at 125.9 & my goal for June is 110. it may be a bit lofty but i figure i should go balls to the wall or i just won't do it. so we'll see!

- KB is back. yaaaay!
- i'm going to see the hunger games on saturday- finally. i may have dreamt i was in the hunger games last night & i may have killed people...
- Easter sunday is this week.
- i have 2 shoots coming up- its been awhile so i'm beyond happy & ready.

& etc etc.

now if it would just get warm again...