it's been over a week since i last updated.
if i told you i'm cringing over that fact would you forgive me?
i'm not gonna lie- i looked down at my calendar last week & i couldn't believe it was already wednesday. then friday. then...my bad.
you've all heard my excuses- i'm tired. tired. tired. busy. sick. so much to do. tired some more. work. play. errands. more sick. diaper rash- etc etc. so i'm just going to recycle all of those. because once again:
- we are battling a diaper rash. i cannot wrap my head around a child sitting in a poopy diaper long enough to aquire a rash. but that's what went down on friday. the husband picked up the girls (from my in law's) & when brynn started screaming, not even 30 min after they go home, & i took a gander in her diaper- ugh. so much red. so sore. her poor little butt.
i was furious. in fact, i'm still annoyed. i do understand that rashes happen- but come on. so this weekend had me watching for every poop & pee & running around cleaning up after the trail my diaperless 11 month old left.
it's better today. but the girls are at my mother's (another location where rashes seem to occur) & all i can do is hold my breath for a bottom that look at least the same, if not better.
- i am truly busy. i've had a couple of shoots (yay) among other things & plus it's hunting season. which means many hours sitting in the woods doing God knows what (the husband- not me) which leaves me with the girls. which is fine. but busy.
- the holidays are fast approaching. this means cooking, baking, making gifts (i'm cheap this year), getting cards ordered, cleaning, etc etc
- brynn's 1st birthday is also coming. it's going to be small but still- cards to order, a meal to plan, a cake to bake. the works.
- life crap. we (or should i say the husband) own a condo aside from our home. we couldn't sell it when we bought our house so the husband's brother moved in with the intention of renting it until he could buy it. long story short- that didn't work out. a year later, my father moved in- but rent free. finally we decided we needed rent- so my younger brother moved in last month & we thought we were good.
...yeah. not so much. now he can't pay. so out he goes. and once again we're left with paying another mortgage.
so now i'm rushing to replace the carpets, clean & update & hopefully get this place rented out to someone who IS NOT family.
paying 2 mortgages + childcare (which = more than our mortgage) is NOT fun. at all. in fact, it's downright depressing & slightly stressful.
- the list goes on.
i'm really not complaining (well, perhaps a tad) but sometimes i just want to sit down & not have to worry about anything. work, bills, children, husband, life, cars, animals, other people...
but that's not how things work. so i pull up my bootstraps & make time & energy for everything.
then again- looking back at my list- should i really even be complaining at all? so many people are dealing with so many more things. things that i can't even imagine or being to try & comprehend. some of the things i mentioned aren't even "bad" things.
the holidays? those are wonderful. just busy.
so should that be something that tires & annoys me? probably not.
but am i tired & annoyed? yes.
goodness- now i feel guilty.
perhaps you should disregard everything you just read because in all reality- my life is wonderful. & normal. & full of so much. even if that "so much" does include exhaustion & way too much laundry.
and this, people, is how my brain works 24/7. wavering bwtween guilt & justification. frustration & happiness. contentment & selfishness.
i'm not the only one- am i?
i'm going to blame this random rambling entry on the fact that brynn kept me up until 12:30 this morning. & i had to be up by 4. yeah- you do the math.
anyway- if you've made it through the above, here is a gift for you eyes.
i had a shoot @
the most beautiful location this past weekend.
right? ok. i feel a little better now.