back from vacation

i made chocolate chip cookies:


Big & Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies
INGREDIENTS
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets & they'll be chewy

yum.

well, back from our vacation to AZ & CA. it was sunny & warm there- and we've come back to snow & cold. nice.
still not pregnant- but i'm 4 dpo & i'm pretty sure we did the deed before i ovulated (despite our travels) so we have a chance- though we've had a change for the past 11 cycles & still nothing. so we'll see. one day i'll see two lines. i know i will. but until then- i'll just wish & be bitter about nest girls who get bfp's on the 1st & 2nd tries. SERIOUSLY!!!!

well it's back to work tomorrow- and i'm not looking forward to it. meh! tis' life. so i best go & prepare myself. goodnight.

God Bless

meh

this whole not being able to get pregnant thing is REALLY starting to get to me. i can't help it. even seeing girls that had early m/c's, getting pregnant a few months after, bothers me- it's really horrible of me, but it's true. i mean i can't imagine the pain of a m/c & i feel very bad for them but i mean, i've tried for 10 months & can't get pregnant once, and they've tried for like 2,3, or 4 & manage to get pregnant twice. granted they lost a baby & that's not fair at all & i'm not saying it was easy but...i don't know. it sucks. i'm happy for them, but i'm very bitter.
i think that's what it comes down to- i'm very bitter right now.
i had to sit & talk to me below (a few posts down) mentioned pregnant friend last night for 4 hours & i pretended to be happy for her when the whole time i just wanted to smack her and run out. THAT'S VERY BAD!
and to top it off we can't even try this cycle becase we're going away on a trip w/friends right when i'm ovulating & seeing that we're sleeping in a tent with them it's just NOT going to happen. LAME! if we don't get pregnant next month then i have to go on Clomid & see what happens from there. i hope it works.

whatever- i'm gonna go take my cake out of the oven.
God bless.

annual & pap

so i went in for my annual & pap smear today with my new OBGYN- she was aaawesome. we talked about my TTC for a good 20 min and when i told her i wasn't pregnant and that this is my 9th cycle she said that considering my young age & healthy status & also brandon's fairly young age- there is no reason we shouldn't be pregnant yet. i ovulate reguarly & there are no signs of endo or anything abnormal so she was a little concerned that we still aren't pregnant. soooo she asked if i knew anything about Clomid and i said yesss- she said that if i'm not pregnant by the end of Feb then i should give her a call & we can either:
1. do one month of Clomid to see if i produce more than 1 egg (better chance of fertilization?)
2. get an HSG done
3. have brandon get a SA
4. or all of the above
i'm sooo happy that she's proactive about all of this. she was wicked nice and i feel alot better that i'm not the only one wondering about the lack of pregnancy going on.

so i was in a pretty good mood until i got back to work and heard this WICKED annoying girl from my office announce to a few ladies that she's 4 months pregnant. ugh. she is serously the most annoying person ever and a wicked attention whore- meh!

oh well. one day it'll be my turn!
God bless